I Ain't Waiting For The World To Change
by Koschka
Summary: Avenged Sevenfold's drummer had suddenly died. Thirty-three year old Kim Aldrin got the job and tried to handle the crazy guys, who still grieve about their beloved friend. See, if she managed it
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story in E****nglish (English is not my native language, so there could be some littl' mistakes) and the first one 'bout Avenged Sevenfold. I love this band and wanted to write a FF 'bout them. So remember, this is just a FAN-Fiction. I do not own M. Shadows and the other band members, except Kim. I inscribe this story to my RPH's (otherwise I hadn't published it).. So have fun and tell me, what you think about it :) More Info's and a little Teaser on my profile.  
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**Members of Avenged Sevenfold:**

**Vocals:**

Matthew Sanders aka **M. Shadows** – born 31 July 1981 - married with Valary Dibenedetto

**Lead Guitarist:**

Brian Haner Jr aka **Synyster Gates** – born 7 July 1981 – married with Michelle Dibenedetto

**Rhythm Guitarist:**

Zachary Baker aka **Zacky Vengeance** – born 11 December 1981 – in a relationship with Gena Paulhus

**Bassist:**

Jonathan Seward aka **Johnny Christ** – born 18 November 1984

**Drums:**

Jimmy Sullivan aka **The Rev **– born 9 February 1981 / died 28 December 2009

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"You're here because …?" His expression wasn't very friendly.

"Here is the audition for drummers, isn't it?" I asked and looked around.

"But you're a girl," the big man spatted out.

"What's the matter?" My voice was getting louder. "I'm a good drummer and they need one. If they don't want me 'cause there's someone who plays better it's okay, but I doubt that. So… can I?" I wasn't friendly anymore. I was tired and this man wasn't the first one who told me I picked the wrong job.

Finally he let me in and I went straight to the drums, picked the sticks and started to play as soon as I sat. In the advertisement stood they searched for a drummer for a heavy metal band. There wasn't a name, so I picked up a song from Metallica. You can't do wrong with them! I did not even trouble myself to look around. When I finished I saw the people who were sitting in front of me – one of my favorite bands sat there!

"Well," M. Shadows looked at the paper in front of him, "Kim, that wasn't that bad. You can play some of our songs?" he asked. He wouldn't ask if I knew them. Maybe my expression told them. I nodded monotonous and started playing 'Dancing Dead'. When I finished this song – I was sweating but I didn't know if it was because of the men or the room temperature – I couldn't say anything, I was just starring.

"Has the cat got your tongue?" someone asked and they started laughing.

"I think you found your new drummer," I told the band and the other man, who was sitting with them. I thought it was their manager.

"Not so fast. You mind if I'm joining?" The man with the snakebites came up to me, picked up his guitar and looked for my okay.

"Sure," I shrugged. "I don't even mind if you'll join, too," I told the others.

"You know 'Danger Line'?" The short guy picked up his bass, while the other one took his guitar. Matt, the leader and the one who spoke to me first, sat on his chair and was watching us. Seemed as it would be only an instrumental version. Four times I hit the sticks together and began to play. It was very easy to play with these guys and soon Matt joined us and sang along.

"You were the last one, right?"

I snorted. They let me wait, because I was a woman. "Yes," I answered.

"What do you think 'bout a drink? We could get to know us a little better." He looked inquiringly at the others and when they nodded, I also gave my okay.

"How did you come here?" Matt asked.

"By car," I told him, as we left the building.

"You give me a ride?" the little one asked. I knew his name was Johnny.

"Sure."

"So scared?" Zacky asked laughing. He was the one with the two rings through his lip. I rolled my eyes, looked at Matt and asked where to go. I knew the bar he mentioned and so I went to my car, Johnny in tow.

"Why did you want me to take you with me?" I asked when I started the engine.

"Sometimes they're annoying," he murmured. I grinned. "So tell me something 'bout you." Suddenly he sounded enthusiastic.

"What do you want to know? My age, where I live, the same old stuff?"

"You can start with that, but I also want to know your deepest secrets."

I laughed. "I doubt that, but I'm telling you the other shit. Twenty-three years ago I was born in Sacramento, lovely family and so on. Nothing interesting. When I was twelve I started playing drums. I started some apprenticeships, but wasn't happy, 'cause I always loved the music more. Now we have to turn right, don't we?"

"Yes, then left and we're there." I nodded, still watching the street. I parked in the parking lot and locked my car.

"So, what happened then? You worked?" Seemed as the interview went further.

"Yep, here and there." I said and didn't want to talk about the last two years.

"Look, they're almost here. Matt drives like he's crazy, also a reason I wanted to drive with you. Thanks by the way."

"You're welcome." I was a bit afraid, what if they asked about the last years? You don't have to tell them, I told myself. I raised my head, tightened the shoulders and stepped in. Soon I saw them; they sat at a little table (just the band, the other man wasn't around), which was full of bottles. "They'll drink all of them?"

"Sure, WE will kill these bottles in no time." He grinned from ear to ear.

"Driver," I told him fetchingly and waved the key in front of his nose. He snapped them and with a "Matt'll give you a ride" he joined them. I sighed and followed him. But I wanted this job so much, so I smiled when I sat down next to Matt.

Johnny smiled, grabbed one bottle and handed it to me. "Who thought you to play the drums like that?" Synyster asked. This was the first time he spoke to me.

"My ex-boyfriend." My Voice was less noisy now.

"But he's not going to stalk us, if you would become a member of the band?" Synyster laughed, while Matt looked a little bit worried.

"No." I sighed. The knot in my stomach was there again. "I think I have to be honest, if this should work. My boyfriend died two years ago and I don't like to talk about it. I try to enjoy my life, so I don't talk about this topic. So, what should you also know? Here's no one holding me back, I love music and my drums, I learned from the best and I think I can handle you crazy guys." I took a sip of the bottle.

"Ouch, you heard that, Zack?" Syn asked and kicked him with his elbow. "I want to see, if this chick can handle us, but I doubt that."

"Make me one of you and I'll show you," I promised him.

"She definitely can play these drums, she harmonizes with us and I like her," Johnny said.

"Sure you like her, she's a girl," Matt laughed.

"I'll give you some time to discuss this," I said and went to the bar. On my way I stopped. "And Matt?" He glared at me. "Johnny promised you'll give me a ride home."

I sat at the bar and waited. I consumed three beers when Syn came to me, wrapped an arm around my shoulder and said "Now, you can show, if you can handle me."

I remained outwardly cool but inside my heart was beating twice as fast. Who would have thought that the day would end like this? He pushed me back to the others, which were smirking. Suddenly I stood there alone, but Syn came back, handed me and the others a shoot – Matt stayed with water.

"So, raise your glass for the new member of Avenged Sevenfold," he said. We joined him and drank it in one go.

"Doesn't this happen to fast?" I asked.

"You know we're crazy and as soon as it doesn't work anymore, you're out," Syn grinned.

"You absolutely need a stage name, I saw your full name on your application and it's …"

"… stuffy," I finished Matt's sentence. Kimberley Aldrin isn't really a name you expect from a member of a metal band.

"We'll think 'bout that later," he promised.

"So, you got any tats or piercings?" Zacky asked.

"There's a little bit of ink on my back and only my ears are pierced and my labret here," I told them, while I pulled at my plug.

"So then, what about a new hair cut?" he asked and pulled on my hair.

"Nope." It took me ages to grow it. It's blond … peroxide blonde and goes up to my elbows. I like it this way. "And I'm not goin' to change my style. You have to deal with that."

"Deal," they said.

"So what's up for now?"

"Think, you need a few weeks to practice our songs, then we'll have to practice along, and then we've a few gigs on the table."

"Think I know the most of your songs, so that wouldn't be a problem."

"Fuck, Val," Matt suddenly cried and jumped up and ran outside. I raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"Think he forgot to call her."Johnny shrugged his shoulders.

"Hope it'll be okay for your girls that I'm in the band." I said and Syn eyed me carefully. I refused to call him Brian.

"Sure, there's nothing to worry about," he assured me. "So what it's like to be with the men of your dreams?"

I started laughing. "Can't see them, but you're also okay." His expression was speechless and Johnny was laughing the hardest, so he fell from his chair. I started talking to them, they told me what it's like being a part of a band. Matt was still outside, so I asked the others. I hope he didn't leave us here. "He always phone with Val so long. I'm even wondering what they're talking about."

"Maybe you shouldn't ," Zacky laughed.

Time passed, Matt joined us (the boys teased him) and by the time I got really drunk. That's nothing I would do every night! When we walked – or better tried to, 'cause Matt had to support Syn – Matt asked me groaning where to drive. I told him my motel. "But that's on the other side of the country."

"Stop fuckin' lying, Shadz. Just bring me there or I'll sleep in your car."

"I'm not driving there. I want to get home tonight and not tomorrow. You can sleep at Johnny's."

"Sure," Johnny answered while I was staring at Matt. I shrugged and then slipped into the car. I sat in the middle right between Zacky and Johnny – Syn was on the co-driver seat, head at the window and he snorted. I was glad I was drunk, because Johnny was right: Matt drives crazy. If I would be sober, I would've freaked out! We were the first one who had to go off the car and the others told me a goodnight and I heard them laughing, as I followed the little man.

"So, welcome to paradise," he opened his arms. If this should be paradise, I wouldn't want to know hell. Everywhere laid bottles, dirty clothes and magazines and something I couldn't define. "Bathroom, kitchen and bedroom," he explained while opening the respective doors.

"I would give you my bedroom and sleep on the couch, if you like." The bedroom was dirtier – if this could be possible. The bedclothes were crumpled-up the floor. "Think I prefer the living room." I put the magazines on the floor, slipped of my shoes and Johnny disappeared and came back with a pile of clothes. "Don't know if these fit you, but … better than nothing?"

"Thanks." I doubt that they would fit. He was 5'4" and I was 'bout 10 inches taller than him. He left the room, said goodnight and locked the door behind him. I changed fast and it fit, so I lay down and stared at the white ceiling. What a crazy day!

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I woke up, because my neck hurt. I moaned and rubbed it. This fucking couch was terrible, too hard for an overnight stay. Johnny's door was still closed as I walked into the kitchen. I opened the doors and searched for coffee, but there was no coffee in these cupboards. I heard a little whimper and looked down. There was a cute little puppy. "Where do you come from?" I lit him up and started to pet him. Suddenly it was warm on my stomach. "Oh no, you didn't do that?" I asked with a loud voice. I let the dog down and stared at the big wet spot on the shirt. Even if it wasn't mine – still disgusting.

"What you're screaming 'bout littl' girl?" a sleepy Johnny asked. He called me little? "Good morning, Peanut? I forgot 'bout you last night. I'm sorry!"

"He or she seemed to notice," I told him and showed him the spot.

"You take a shower, I'll take a walk with Peanut." I mumbled something unintelligible. "Love me, love my dog," Johnny shouted before he left his place.

The bathroom was really clean, not like the rest of the apartment. I took a towel, turned the hot water on and threw the dirty clothes in the corner. There was only shower gel and shampoo for men – better than nothing.

Soon I wrapped a towel around my body, another one around my hair and stepped into the living room. The clothes I wore yesterday were there and as I picked them up my host entered the room. "Nice back," he commented. Soon Peanut was at my side and sniffed – maybe because I smelled like its owner. Between my blade bones was the stroke 'Soulmates never die' framed by two wings. Over my hole back was a branch of a cherry blossom tree. Everything was in black ink, only the blooms were a little red.

"Everything okay now, little puppy?" I asked the dog, while I raised him.

"He's a rude, not a puppy." Johnny sounded really upset, so I chuckled.

"Sorry, if I hurt your male ego. Could you do me a favor? I wanted to practice some songs, but my drums are still at home, so I thought I could use the drums at the studio, but my car is still at the bar. You give me a ride?"

"Give me five minutes and I'll drive wherever you want ... if it's in Cali," he added after a short break.

"The bar is fine," I assured. As soon as he was in the bath I put on my clothes.

In the car he wouldn't stop talking and I could only think of coffee. He told some stories, concluding beer, wine and a dog. Something that's just funny if you were on it. He parked at the parking lot in front of the bar and I told him I would meet him at the studio, because I had to change.

So I drove to my motel, changed my clothes. I wore a pair of cut off jeans, colorful chucks and a simple Tank top. Before I arrived at the bands place I stopped at a coffee shop, where I had bought an overpriced coffee. When I opened the door I heard Johnny's voice: "Her whole back is covered with ink."

"Why did you saw her back?" another voice asked. Zacky I realized.

"She had a little encounter with Peanut" he laughed.

Time for me to interrupt. "He peed on me, that's not a," I drew double quotes in the air with my fingers, "little encounter." Zacky laughed and I heard another one, who joined them. Matt was sitting at the table, in front of him some papers. "And now I smell like a man," I complained and took the seat next to the singer.

"No, you don't smell like a man. You smell like Johnny and that's differential," he said. "Here are the notes for some songs. What do you think, how long do you need to learn these?" he asked.

"How long can I play here?"

"As long as you want."

"Think I can handle these tomorrow at noon," I told him and earned a disbelieved look. "What? These are just a few songs, not all of them." I took the notes, walked to the drums and started to play. There was much to learn.

Don't know how long I sat there but over time my shirt was wet so I pulled it out. I was alone in the room, didn't know where the others were. I wore a short top beneath, which doesn't cover much skin. But like I said I was alone in the room and playing drums is like a type of sport. You need a pretty good cardio to be able to play some hours.

"You want something to eat?" Zacky asked. I shook my head. "You're sure? I'll drive to Burger King."

"No thanks, but what 'bout some coffee? You'd be my hero."

"I'm your man," he smiled and left the room. I tried to play 'A Little Piece Of Heaven'.

"FUCK!" I yelled, still looking at that damn note. It doesn't turn out the way it should.

"Need some help?" Syn asked. I hadn't realized he had entered the room. It was the first time I saw him this day.

"Back to life?" I asked smiling.

"Looks like. So, you need help?"

"This fuckin' shit doesn't turn out the right way. I don't get the bridge."

He had his guitar in his hands and started to play. I joined him and we repeated the part where I stuck until I had it on line. "Foods here guys … and lady," Zacky yelled.

"Can't see a lady," Syn murmured. Revenge for the dream men? I stood up, walked to the couch where my bag still lay and draw a new T-shirt out of it.

"Do you have more in it?" he asked and holds the door open.

"Sure my whole wardrobe is full of it. It's getting pretty hot at the drum kit," I said as I walked through the door and waited for the guitarist to show to go first.

"We have to talk with you," Matt began with a scary voice.

"Hmmm," I took a sip of my black coffee.

"You're living in a motel and you have to stay here at least for weeks, before we have the gigs. We thought maybe you would like to …"

Johnny interrupted him. "You could be my roommate. There's still a room I could spare and even better than a motel, right?"

"Um … To be honest, I haven't thought about it. I've two terms: First I'll buy a coffee machine and I won't take the walk with your dog."

"Think I can live with that."

"While we're on it, I need to drive home to fetch up my personal stuff and I need my drums. Would it be okay, if I drive there Thursday and I'll be back on Saturday?"

"You need two days for grabbing your things? That's so girly," Syn laughed.

"Actually not, but on Friday it's my little niece's birthday, so I would like to stay there."

"What about that, you'll pack up your things, celebrate the birthday and Saturday evening there'll be a dinner at my place. Val wants to get to know you."

"Sure, I just need to check something." I pulled out my phone and dialed the number. It ringed three times before my mom answered. "Hey Mom, is Dad home?" I asked.

"Wait a minute," she told me. I waited until a deep voice told me, that my dad had the phone in his hand.

"Dad, could you do me a favor?" I asked.

"What do you need?"

"You know there was this audition and they picked me," I wanted to talk further but he interrupted. "So soon? Congratulation, kid. I'm very proud of you. And I know Bryan would …"

"Dad, please don't talk 'bout Bryan." It hurt to say his name.

"Sorry, Hon. So the favor …," he reminded me.

"Yes, so I have to settle down in Huntington Beach for a while and I need a car to transport the drums and my bed. On Saturday."

"That shouldn't be a problem. I'll drive the transporter and bring it home. But while we're talking about your drums …"

My heartbeat was faster. "What 'bout my drums?" My voice cracked and I knew the others were staring at me.

"Cassie let the kitten in your room," he began.

"Just tell me," I begged

"She scratched one drum, the big one."

"Fuck! Stupid cat!" I cursed and was so angry my hand started shaking.

"I called Luke, he bought something new for the … what is it called?"

"Bass drum," I helped.

"Exactly so when you're home everything will be okay."

"Thanks Dad, see you on Thursday."

"See you, hon." I pressed the red button on my phone.

"Everything okay?" Zacky asked but I just shrugged. I just needed to blow off steam. "I'm going to practice" I told them and left the room. I heard something behind me, sounded like ambitious.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2. Thanks for reading, subscribing and the comment. So, no long talk! Much fun with Kim, the boys and her mates and also the dogs. More info's are in my profile. **

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„You're going to live here?" he asked unbelieving. I was glad my dad didn't saw the apartment some days ago, Johnny cleaned up.

"Yes, my room is here." While I said this I opened the door to my room.

"But your drums don't fit in here." His expression was still shocked.

"No, this is just for my bed. The drums are going to be in the studio."

"Alright, then we should start to get your stuff up here." It took us three hours to build up the bed and get my stuff in the room.

We were on the way to the studio to mount my musical instrument. The boys gave me a key for the room a few days ago. We made good progress, but I'm still not satisfied. My family said I'm always overambitious, but I just wanted to show that I'm as good as a man.

"Oh, they're here. We need some helping hands," I yelled. It was clear from the outset that nobody would answer. "Come along," I pulled my dad and opened the doors. There were just four of the five, Johnny was missing. "Thought you didn't hear me. Dad, that's the band – band, my dad." They waved and my dad smiled. "Honey, please don't take it the wrong way, but can we do a bit faster?"

"Sure Dad, sorry. So, if these guys would be so nice and help, we would be ready in a flash." They rose and so my baby soon stood at its new place.

"Red?"Matt asked as we stood in a row and admired the dark red drums.

"Sure. I've saved all my money for this." I went still into raptures over it.

"Everything's here and I know you're invited, so I think I can drive home. Besides your Mom and I are going to babysit tonight."

"Where's Kelly?" I asked an eyebrow rose.

"She's on a date." We both rolled with the eyes. The guys said goodbye and I accompanied my father to his car.

"Thanks, Dad."

"You know, when you need us, we will be here," he reminded me.

"I know," I said as I hugged him. He put a kiss on my cheek, got on his vehicle and soon I just saw the car faded at the I drove home I asked Matt where he lived.

Johnny wasn't home when I arrived. I just went into my room, picked up my suitcase with cosmetics, went to the bathroom and took a shower.

Usually I didn't wear makeup – because when you're at the drums it's more than disgusting when the full shit comes into your eyes – but today I put something on my skin. Black eyeshadow, a little bit mascara, some rouge and I could devote my time for my hair. With the curling iron I made a few curls into my bright hair and when I entered my room the little dog was sitting on the bed – MY bed!

"Peanut, down!" I shouted at the dog, who just watched me with an innocent glimpse. I put him down, put my suitcase on the furniture and searched for an outfit.

I picked a tight black skirt, a light blue shirt with a cowl-neck and black high heels. Not my normal choice, but I was going to meet the girls and I didn't want to look like I wouldn't care about my clothes.

I took my handbag and when I was about to leave the flat and went to Matt I saw a yellow post-it on the door:

Could you bring Peanut?

"Peeeeeeanut," I yelled. I heard his steps on the laminate and his tail was wagging as he saw the dog lead in my hand. I fixed it and we went down the street. Matt told me it wasn't far away, so I decided to take a walk. A very, very long walk with this animal sniffing and peeing everywhere. So I screw up condition two – on the first day!

Finally I found the right house. I pressed the bell and heard a "The door is open, come in." I opened it and stepped in, the dog still at my side.

"Hello?" I asked.

"In the kitchen on your left," a female voice said. I followed the voice and there stood a blonde woman, who was washing some salad. "Hey, you must be Kim,"she smiled and I nodded. "I'm Val. The others are outside, just join them. I'll be there in a minute. Um, you don't know the way, wait I'm going to show you." She dried her hands and came toward me.

"Should I take something?" I asked.

"No, thanks. So, come on. Hey Peanut," she said and got to her knees to pat the little rude. "You don't need the lead here." I untied it and Peanut disappeared. "Zacky, Gena and Johnny are already here, we're just waiting for Brian and Michelle." We went through a big living room to a garden. There stood a long table with eight chairs.

"If you need me, I'm in the kitchen." Val disappeared.

"Matt, did you realize we had a girl in the band?" Zacky shouted. Matt stood in the front of a big brazier.

"Not until yet," Matt answered. I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks for bringing Peanut, little girl," Johnny said. He already had a beer bottle in his hands.

"Right, I'm the one who's the smallest here," I said sarcastically. He looked a bit pissed, but the others were laughing.

"Now that we know you're a girl and not a little one: Hi, I'm Gena," the woman next to Zacky held out her hand and I shook it.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Kim," I said. She patted on the seat next to her and I sat down.

"So, how were your days?" Johnny on my other side asked.

"Stressful. Screaming kids everywhere and everything was pink – my eyes are still hurting."

"I thought you were only grabbing your things?" Gena asked.

"It was also my little niece's birthday."

"How old is she?" she asked interested.

"Just three years old. My sister got pregnant when we were nineteen."

"We?" Matt, who had joined us, asked.

"We're twins, but totally different. While my sister was homecoming queen I sat in the garage and played drums. The first thing my mom said, when she told her she was about to get a baby was, that she thought I would be the one who'll come home pregnant."

"I guess your gift for your niece was a little drum kit," Matt joked.

I laughed. "No, she'll get one at her fifth birthday. But she wants pink ones, so it would be more girly." I mugged. I noticed that Gena was staring at my hair. "What? Is there something in my hair?"

"What about some highlights? Maybe pink? Or some red streaks?"

"What?" I asked again, still confused.

"I'm a hairstylist and I _need_ to do something with your hair!"

"I told you," Zacky winked at Johnny.

"What's wrong with my hair?" I admit it, I was a bit pissed.

"It's boring." She laid it on the line. I think I looked a little bit shocked. "So please, let me do something with it."

"We'll see," I just said. Through the door came a little white dog, who was soon joined by peanut and three other dogs I've never seen before. "Where do all this dogs come from?" I asked unbelieving.

"The golden dog is Matt's Bella, the little white one is Pinkly, Brian's dog, and the little black one is Ichabod with the dane dog, Majesty, both belong to Zacky," Johnny explained.

"Oh, the little ones are cute, but the big one is scary."

"Majesty isn't scary," Zacky pouted. He really looked hurt, so I didn't say anything.

"So, there's Pinkly, where are her owners?" Matt asked and changed the theme.

"Think Brian stuck at your fridge," Johnny laughed and Zacky added a "Later he's crying why he's so fat."

"Hey guys," we heard Syns voice before he entered the garden. "Jesus Christ, who's this lady?" he asked after he had greeted the others and stood in front of me.

I yawned theatrical. "It's getting boring, guys."

"Matt, ignite the brazier!" As soon as he heard Val's shout he jumped up and we were laughing.

Suddenly I felt something watery on my leg and I squealed. I took a look under the table and was staring into two dog eyes. The watery nose was still pressed at my leg. It just figured out that it was the scary dog. "Think you have to come along with her. But she's a really nice dog, Ichabod is the one who's snappy," Gena explained, after she had followed my glance.

"Yeah," I evoked and held out my hand, so the dog could sniff. After that I patted her head, but that was as far as it went.

The time went by, Matt was the one who operated the brazier, Val ascended everything what was in her kitchen I supposed and she introduced me to her sister, Michelle, who was Syn's wife. She looked like Val – what a coincidence, because they were twins, too. But Michelle's hair was brown and was a bit longer than Val's. We talked a lot; the men sat on the grass and were playing with the dogs, only Peanut sat on my lap. Actually I started to like this little brute.

"I couldn't believe you're going to live with Johnny. This will be a mess!"

"We'll see," I just said.

"You're welcome every time you need a break," Val invited me.

"And you _have_ to come over at my place. I'm going to make your hair, I can't even look at it anymore," Gena dwelled on her subject. "I promise you, you'll be glad, but you definitely need more color."

"Okay, okay, what about that. I'll come over at your place and you'll show me, what's in your mind. But if I don't like it, we leave it like that." She nodded eagerly.

"May I ask you something?" I lowered my voice. "I didn't have the courage to ask the boys, but would you tell me something about Jimmy?"

"Oh, you can ask the boys, they always talk about him. But just sit here a bit, I have a few questions," Val said. Think Michelle was the one, who doesn't talk this much, but she's still kind."So, you family is still in Sacramento, but what about a boyfriend?"

"There's no." As I saw their asking glances I continued. "I love the music and there's no time for someone. Also the most men are scared of me and I think, when I tell them I'm in a metal band they would be even more."

"I guess many of them think that's sexy", Gena said, while Michelle asked when they would hear me. "I'm very anxious." She was a really beauty, when she smiled. I shrugged. "Don't know, ask the others." Synchronous we looked at the men, who were lying in the grass and looked sleepy.

"Think, they passed out and need to be wakening up." We grinned at each other and Michelle asked for some buckets. "What do you want with buckets?" Gena asked.

"It's the best to wake up with cold water," she explained. We ended with a big glass full of cold water for each and we were creeping on the sleeping persons on the grass.

"Psssht," Val said, since Gena started to giggle, while she was standing in front of Matt. I stood over Zacky's Face and whispered "we might piss somebody off" and began to shout "LIKE ME MOTHERFUCKER". In sync we tipped the glasses out, so the men started screaming, while the girls couldn't hold their laugh, as I used a lyric from A7x to wake them up.

Don't know why, however I was aware of Zacky's reaction. But I was wearing high heels and I couldn't run on the grass, 'cause my heels stuck. Soon he was at my side, lifted me up, gave me a fireman's lift and walked into the house. "What are you doin'?" I asked while staring at his ass, which was right in front of my eyes.

"You'll see." Because of my view I couldn't see where he was walking, but he stopped and I could hear the water falling down – and then I realized what he was going to do.

"Oh no, Zacky, please," I begged, but he just let me down and soon I stood in the shower. My hair was wet and my makeup was streaming down my face.

"You look like a drowned rat," he laughed and held out a towel. "So, we're both wet. We're even," he said. I just realized how green his eyes were, but that couldn't stop my rage.

"But all of my clothes are wet inclusive my shoes," I said while turning the shower off.

"So, I can ask Val, or you're going to be naked. I think I'll think about it, while I'm outside. Maybe I do Johnny a favor, he haven't seen a naked lady for ages." With these words he left the room. I pulled off my shoes and undressed me, so I stood there in underwear and wrapped the towel around my body. With some toilet paper I removed the residual makeup. Since Val didn't come I guessed Zacky hadn't told the others. I had to go outside, as I didn't want to search in a house that doesn't belong to me.

"Oh my gosh, what happened?" Michelle asked as she passed my way in the living room.

"Think I got a shower. You might ask your sister, if she got something to wear for me?" I asked and realized I splashed the floor with water.

"Sure. You might wait in the bathroom." I nodded and went back. Soon Val joined me, followed by Johnny. Val darted a wondering glance at him.

"Zacky told me, I should come here, there would be something for me."

"Just go," I shouted and threw my wet shirt at him. He cowered and toddled off. "You know, this wasn't even my idea," I snorted while pulling on the shirt Val gave me. I even didn't know why I was so pissed, it was just water.

"But you were the one who was screaming and you're the newest in the band, also the youngest and a woman," she finished her speech.

"I'll ask you something and please be honest. Is it a problem for anyone that I'm in the band?" I bit my lip. By time I also wore shorts from Matt's wife.

"I don't think it's a problem for Matt and the others. Actually I think it's better for them and for you, 'cause if there was a man they'd always compared him with Jimmy. Sure, I miss him too, but they need to move on. And they're really impressed by you."

I blushed as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder and dragged me outside with a little stop at the kitchen, where she grabbed a bottle.

"We need some glasses," she shouted and sat down on a chair. Gena came back and brought four glasses.

"What about us?" Johnny complained.

"Get some glasses and you'll get some," Val said, poured the liquid into the short glasses, lifted hers and waited till Michelle, Gena and I clinked glasses.

"What was that?" I grimaced, after the liquid went through my gullet.

"Take a second one, it'll taste better," Gena topped off my glass. The second tasted even more awful so I took Johnny's beer and took a deep sip. "Hey, that was mine."

"You're right it was yours," I said while drinking the rest. Meanwhile Johnny took the four little glasses and the bottle and drank one with the guys.

"So, how was the cooling?" Syn asked arch. I just showed him my middle finger.

The sky was black, the lights shone since hours. Don't know what it was, but apparently emerged romantic feeling. Val was sitting on Matt's Lap, Gena and Zacky whispered enamored and Syn and his wife were kissing – leaved me and Johnny. He was totally drunk. Bella stood in front of her owners, a yellow ball between her teeth. It didn't seem that they'd like to play so I rose, patted on her bag so the dog glared at me. "I'll play with you," I said and took the toy out of her yap. We walked a bit, because there was a long field. I throw the ball and Bella sprinted, took it and brought it back, so I could throw it again. The little dogs were inside the house, just Majesty walked slowly at my direction. She sat down next to me and just watched me playing. Maybe she wasn't so scary. I patted her head and started to ruffle the dog's fur.

"You mind, if I'm joining you?" a deep male voice behind me asked.

"You're welcome," I answered Matt's question.

"You want to know something 'bout Jimmy?" he asked while throwing the ball this time.

"Val snitched, uh?" I sat down and Majesty laid her head on my lap.

"Amen to that. So, Jimmy was not only a band member, he was also our best friend and a family member. No, that's not right – he's still with us. It was hard and we didn't know if we could go on stage anymore." He paused and I didn't know what to say. "He was the craziest guy I ever met," he laughed suddenly, probably stuck in a memory.

"You miss him a lot," I said and it wasn't a question.

"Every fuckin' day I miss this stupid asshole. He had a huge heart, I'm sure he would like you and that was one of the reasons I voted for you."

"And I thought I convinced you with my music," I tried to mellow the atmosphere.

"I don't mean to imply that you're a bad drummer, you're great, but it has to fit, like," he tried to explain.

"I know what you mean. It's just… I don't want to replace him. Well no, I have to replace him… God, that's such bullshit. What I'm trying to say is that I sure want to replace Jimmy as a drummer, but not as your friend. I know there's this space I can never fill, and I don't want to. I just want to have my own place in the band, just as Kim. You know, what I'm trying to express?"

"No one can replace The Rev, but maybe we have to realize, there's no Jimmy anymore, there's just a screaming K." He smirked and laid an arm around my shoulder.

"Screaming?" I asked innocent.

"Your 'Like me motherfucker' scream is still resonating in my ears."

"Don't expect me to apologize." I smiled.

"You want something to drink?"

"Just beer, nevermore this witches' brew."

"Yo Shorty, get your ass over here and bring some beer," Matt yelled so suddenly I flinched with shock.

"Get your own beer," he yelled back.

"It's for K, so get your lady a beer." I gave him a questioning glace. "What? You're his roommate now!"

"Actually I thought about the other part. K? I need a stage name, why not K written out? Better than Kimberley and I doubt that I found a freaky name as you guys."

"Not that bad. Kay – the girl with the unknown prename," he said, while he underlined his words with his hands.

"Move over," Johnny's drunken voice said and he shooed Majesty away and sat next to me. I took a bottle, handed it to Matt and took the other one. "So, I heard the girls want to see Kim playing and we also have to test her, if she's ready for the stage. What 'bout a littl' gig here?"

"Not a bad idea. What do you think, Kay? You're ready for this?"

"Sure, either way I had to do it. That's why I picked this job."

"I'll call Jamie tomorrow and ask him, if we could use the 'Chain Reaction' for a little concert."

"Band practice tomorrow?" I asked.

"2 p.m. at the studio," Matt confirmed and Johnny screwed up his face. We sat there, chatted a bit about music and when I finished my bottle I rose up. "I'm goin' home," I said and faltered a bit as I walked in the house direction. I locked the bathroom and dressed up. My clothes were a bit muggy and my shoes even more, but it could have been worse.

When I said goodbye, Gena prevented me from leaving. "What about tomorrow evening? Just come at my place and I do your hair," she said. I sighed and promised I would come. Johnny wanted to stay but I should take little Peanut home. So I took the lead, but this little cutie followed me so I decided I didn't need it and walked along with the dog. I started to like him, but when we entered the apartment he jumped on my bed. That was definitely too much of a good thing. I kicked him out, closed the door, undressed me and fell into my bed.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up, because there was an unpleasant traction in my stomach region. I knew exactly what this meant. I got out of bed and sprinted in the bathroom, knowing my beauty suitcase was still in the bath. I rushed in without looking right or left. I stopped because there stood a half naked Johnny in front of the mirror.

"I need the bathroom. Now!"

"Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed. He looked at my direction and I saw a red line streaming down his head. "You scared me to death." He was still glaring at me. I rummaged in my suitcase until I found an applicator tampon. I stood there, my ass outstretched as I realized I was only wearing hot pants and a bra. I hadn't even changed when I went to bed, but why hadn't I undressed my bra? I never sleep with! But my stomach reminded me, that this wasn't the time to think about it.

"Just two minutes," I pushed him outside, closed the door and opened it after two minutes.

"It's all yours," I said while going to my room. I closed the door and took a 2x Shirt out of my case and put it on. I checked my phone, but there was neither a message, nor a call. I checked the time, exactly 12 a.m. I picked up my clothes for the day. There was not enough room for a closet so I had to live from my trunk. I didn't want to wait here anymore so I decided to brew coffee.

But when I entered the kitchen there was already a can full of the brown gold. I took a cup and filled it. "Are you going to do this shit every morning?" a bad-tempered Johnny asked. There was a scrap of TP on his head, but he was dressed.

"Coffee?" I asked innocently and held out my cup.

"No actually I brewed it for you, I don't drink coffee."

"You prefer beer in the morning, um?" I took a sip. He didn't answer. "When did you come home?"

"I woke up in Val's garden, everybody was gone and I searched for peanut. Then I remembered you took him so I walked home. Think I came here at 6:30 a.m." I grinned from ear to ear as I visualized it.

"So, is the bathroom free?" He nodded and mumbled something I didn't understand. I took my clothes and locked the room after I entered.

Thirty minutes later I stood again in the kitchen and refilled my cup. "You like the girls?" Johnny, who had removed the TP, asked as I joined him in the living room.

"Yes, they're really nice."

"That's such a stock response. Be honest."

"Take it or not." With my hands I thrummed on my legs.

"Jimmy always did this, too. I think it's a drummer thing. I visited his family yesterday." He hoisted the little dog which stood in front of the couch and looked at him with his puppy eyes. While he was busy, I took the chance to look carefully at him. He had a mohawk, the rest of his head was shaved – and there was still the little wound on his head from the incident. His face graced a ring through his nose; his brown eyes were still grounded at his little dog. But the most beautiful thing was his smile. When he smiled it still reached his eyes and you have to respond it. He mostly smiled when his pet was around him, I realized.

It was awkward for me, when they talked about their last drummer. Sure I wanted to know something about him, but I saw the pain in their eyes, when they recalled that Jimmy has died. "I'll take a walk with Peanut," he said, after I hadn't reacted at his last sentence. I decided I could read my book, so I fetched it. This time I wasn't really into it, my mind always drifted away. I reread this book so often, it was quite tattered.

"Ready to go?" I heard my roommate's voice from the corridor. I rose, took my sticks and followed him to his car. It would be ridiculous if we'd ride with two cars, so I took a seat in Johnny's.

The drive with Mr. Christ was really crazy. I was like "Look, there's a bike", "Oh my Gosh on your left" and he responded with a "Yes, I saw that" every time. We were both pissed, when we dismounted. We were the first and sat on the couch in silence until Zacky and Syn arrived.

"You were drunk while shaving?" was Zacky's first comment as he saw us. Johnny rolled his eyes. "No, a fury came into the bath as I shaved my head."

We waited for Matt, but instead Larry, the manager, came. He was very cool, more a friend of the band then an authorized Person. "Hey guys. Matt had called me, you want a gig? You're sure? So soon?"

"She needs a bit more practice, but I think this shouldn't be a problem," Zacky answered and patted my head like I were an animal.

"Hope six days are okay. Your gig will be on Sunday," he said and sat down. "So get your asses up there and practice."

"But Matt isn't here," Syn protested.

"You can also play without your vocalist," he simply said. We raised and entered the room where the instruments stood.

"What are we going to play?" They shrugged.

"Think we're going to discuss this when Matt's fuckin' ass is here. Let's play "A Little Piece Of Heaven" again, till you can play it in your dreams."

"Since I have other things to do," I said with a grin and sat down behind my drums.

We played it three times until Shadows arrived. "Sorry," he simply said. "Start all over again," he said after grabbing his mic. I groaned. In the middle of the song Matt told us to stop. "Kay, what about singing?"

"What? No fuckin' way!" I exclaimed with a loud voice. I had seen how they teased Johnny and he couldn't hold a tone – not to mention that he ever strikes one.

"It's not that much, but the female voice is missing. Actually Jimmy took the part, so let's try."

"I don't know the lyrics," I tried to convince him.

"It's easy. What will you do, not long enough, I pray to god that you do and then a not long enough again and again. Oh and what about an evil laugh? And then Zacky will ask you, if you like to marry me you answer with a 'Yes, I do'."

"I'll try, but don't laugh I'll suck."

Actually I sucked and Syn, Johnny and Zacky tried to hold back their laughter, but failed.

I gave Matt a 'I told you so' glace, but he only said we should play again. I really started to hate this song!

"That was the creepiest 'Yes, I do' I've ever heard," Johnny said, while laughing. It was really hard to understand.

"Oh, shut up Mr. Seize the day," I said pissed and the others couldn't stop laughing.

After Matt was fairly satisfied we had a break to discuss the playlist for the gig. I took a sip from my water, which Larry had handed me. I just listened when the men added the songs on the list. There was 'Almost Easy', 'Afterlife', my favorite 'A Little Piece Of Heaven', 'Seize the day' and 'God Hates Us' as Matt began to speak.

"Actually I want to add 'Fiction'," he said and I didn't wait long to scream a 'no'. The others looked at me – they were confused.

"What's the problem with this song? You know the others and you learn very quick so six days shouldn't be a problem", Larry said.

"It's Jimmy's song, I can't play it. Everyone knows it was the last song he wrote. I can't be on stage playing this song and everybody's staring at me."

"You're one of us now. There's no Jimmy anymore who could play this song. It's not like you killed him to take his place. We have to move on and they should be glad that someone so talented is our new drummer," Syn finished his speech.

"Let's vote. Who wants to play fiction?" All their hands raised, mine still clutched the bottle. "You're outvoted."

"Maybe you also want to add a song?" Johnny asked.

"Critical Acclaim," I just said while I tramped to the room and before the door closed I heard "What were we thinking 'bout adding a girl? Everyone knows they're unbearable when they have one's period". I snorted, sure that's everything. Why did they not see, that my problem isn't going on stage. My Problem is that the fans would compare me and Jimmy. And I'm afraid that I'm not what they want. Most of their fans are girls; they don't want to see a woman in their favorite band. I let my sticks touch the drums angrily and soon I was in a vague rhythm.

"Chocolate?" I looked up. There stood Syn in front of me, a chocolate bar in his hand. I gave him a questioning glace. "Releases sense of pleasure."

"Idiot," I said but took the candy.

"So, you want to explain your fears?" he asked. I shook my head and searched for the right notes. "Maybe it would help?" he tried again. I was always that one who suppressed everything. "If you want to talk you know where to find me." With these words he left the room.

Later they came in again, when I was trying to get fiction on line. It was unusual quiet. After hours we finished and my mood plummet further as I realized I had to drive with Johnny. I needed a coffee and something to eat. I closed my eyes while he drove; the others were in their cars behind us.

"Hey Kim, ready for a new style?" Gena greeted. She stood in front of our flat; I had the guys in tow.

"Whatya doin' here?" I asked while hugging her.

"I thought you wouldn't come and I knew the guys wanted to come here, so I took the chance." She pointed at a little suitcase. I opened the door and I couldn't look that fast, as she entered the room. She had opened her case and told me to grab a chair – while the others hadn't even entered the apartment.

"Welcome to hell," Zacky said and got hit at the back of the head by his girlfriend.

When everyone sat – except from Gena who was running around me – she asked about my favorite color. "Don't think I have one."

"That doesn't help," she sighed. "I thought about some highlights here," she twitched at my lower parts of the hair, "and a new haircut."

"Do whatever you want as long as it's not pink, I can do a ponytail and I'll get a pizza."

"Sure, sure. Darling, call Pizza Hut. What do you want, Kim?"

"Something spicy," I said while the feisty blonde grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bathroom.

"Sit down here," she pointed at the toilet seat, "I'll be right back in a minute." She came back, some black bowls, a brush and aluminum foil were in her hands. "I'll mix the paste; I took a turquoise, that'll look great."

"Whatever you want, Gena."

"You won't regret it," she promised. We chatted a little bit and I told her, about the upcoming gig Saturday. She divided my hair and distributed some color on my bright blonde hair. The smell was disgusting! By time my hair was full of the kitchen item as the doorbell rang. Gena purged the items, while I followed the scent of the delicacy. On the table stood many boxes.

"Madame," Syn said as he reached me one of them. I sat down on the floor, the box on my legs. I actually wondered, because they didn't say anything about the glistening foil in my hair.

Precisely I wanted to take the first bite of my pizza, when my phone rang. I moaned and got up, the piece still in my hand. I took the phone, which lay on my bed and answered without looking who called.

"Hmmm?" I just said, while taking the first bite.

"Labelle is lost," a tearful voice said.

"You're sure, honey? You searched the house?" I asked my little niece. Labelle was the stupid cat she absolutely loved. I walked along the flat into the kitchen to grab a water bottle while eating. It wasn't the first time she thought that stupid animal was lost. Mostly this hairy minx sat on my bed.

"Yes I did. Mommy's not here and Grandpa is in the garden."

"So why haven't you told him? He's going to search for Labelle with you."

"But … but you did this. You always found her."

"But I'm far away; you have to do this on your own. You're a big girl and you cat plays just hide and seek with you."

The sobbing was getting louder. "I … I … miss you."

"I miss you, too, honey." I said while sitting down and taking the second piece. "So, stop crying. Get some kibble, shake the box and you'll see she'll be right there."

"But, what if she's lost forever?" I rolled my eyes.

"Like I said, she just plays. Probably she's taking a nap or something like that."

"Hm, Kimie?"

"Yes, littl' bee?"

"I want to visit you."

"I don't know when, but sure." Actually I didn't want her to come here. I mean those guys and a little girl? I couldn't imagine this, but I didn't have the motivation now to discuss this.

"Can I talk to Johnny?" A gave him a questioning glace.

"Why, do you want to talk with him?" I asked curiously. Everyone was staring at me, wondering who I meant.

"Just let me talk to him!" Suddenly she didn't sound weepy anymore.

"Johnny, do you mind talking to my little niece?" I asked, but he just held out his hand and I put the phone in it.

"Hey," I heard him say, but couldn't understand, what Cassie was saying. "Yes." I eyed him skeptically. Suddenly he burst out in laughter; his head turned red and a tear left his eyes. He rose and left the room.

"What was that?" Matt asked but I just shrugged. I also wanted to know, what this little girl said to him. Little Peanut came and sniffed at my box, but I shooed him. Gena joined me and snitched a piece of my pizza. We still could hear Johnny's laughter.

Finally he came back and handed me my phone. "Nice background," he said. Gena took the phone and squealed. "Oh my Gosh, that's so cute. Is that your little niece?" I nodded. It was a picture of me sitting at the drums, Cassie on my lap holding the sticks and trying to play the drum kit. "She looks a lot like you," she added.

"Remember, not my child. So, what did she want?" I asked the man.

"I promised I wouldn't say a word to you," he said.

"I bet you made fun of me."

"We never would." His smile proved him a liar.

"Do you mind if I take a look at the pictures?" The woman next to me asked.

"Never mind," I said and ate again. Maybe I call Cassie tomorrow and ask her, what she had said.

"Is that your sister?" I looked at my phone. "Yes, that was at the prom."

"She's totally the girly girl," she commented.

"Not like our one here, always wearing pants and big shirts," Matt teased me.

"I'm always around you, I don't need to impress somebody," I simply answered.

"Ouch, she gave us a knock-back," Johnny commented. This smirk on his face was really annoying. "You should be used to," Syn annotated.

"Who's that?" Gena asked again. I looked again and the knot in my stomach was back home. Had forgotten there was this picture. "Ohm my ex," I spawned finally.

"What? Give us the phone," Matt said and grabbed it, while Gena protested. "THAT was your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, that," I imitated his tone, "was my boyfriend." I couldn't look at them, while they stared at the picture.

"Hum, show me your hair," Gena said and took a look. "Yeah, think we can wash it out." We raised and I was glad to escape their questions. "Zacky told me 'bout your boyfriend. I know also, you said you didn't want to talk, but … If you want to talk, I have a sympathetic ear." She didn't wait for a response and was employed with my hair. I had to bend forward and she pulled out the foil and washed my hair. "I need an old towel," she yelled and don't know from where, but she got one which she wrapped around my hair.

"Get up. On the chair in the living room, now the haircut."

"We take a walk, Ladies." Zacky said, gave his girlfriend a quick kiss and soon we were alone in the room.

"Finally," escaped my mouth. Gena just laughed. She was all into my hair and we fall quiet. After she dried it, I took the first look at the mirror. She was right, it was amazing. The turquoise was not too much and the color really pretty and my hair were layered. "It's perfect," I promised Gena, who stood satisfied next to me.

"I'm glad you like it." We cleaned up and sat down on the couch.

"Do you think there's ice cream in the freezer?"

"I doubt that. But call them and tell them they should grab some." I took the phone, which laid on the table and dialed Johnny's number.

"What's up?" he answered.

"I know the day was not easy with me around, but I know a way how I would be very satisfied," I said with my candy voice.

"Uhm?"

"Would you bring some chocolate ice cream? I'll be a really good girl," I promised.

He laughed hard. "I thought something different, but I think that's feasible. We'll be there in thirty minutes."

"Thanks," I said before disconnecting.

"You know, what you're wearing on Saturday?" The blonde woman asked, but I denied it. "So, we have to search. Where's your closet?"

"Haven't one, but in my room." We searched and my clothes laid everywhere. I told her, I have to wear shorts and chucks, so I could play, but she wanted to pick a shirt. We were both pleased with a tank top with the slogan 'No, I'm not with the drummer – I am the drummer'. I heard the door and soon there were four men in my little room, everyone holding an ice cream bowl.

"Wow, that looks gorgeous," Zacky said and the others nodded. I had something on the tip of my tongue but I remembered, that I had promised to be a good girl. "Thank you so much," I said instead, squashed between them and took some spoons from the kitchen. While I went to the living room I saw something on the floor.

"PEANUT!" I yelled. I picked up my favorite book with two fingers, which was very wet and pissed off. "This was my favorite book, how could you dare? Nobody could be so cruel and do that to Mr. Darcy!" I screamed but the little dog hadn't showed up.

"Pride and Prejudice?" Syn asked, as he deciphered the title.

"Sure, that's a classic." I took the bowl from him, opened it and took the first spoon before sitting. Thought he would say more, but maybe he had enough for one day. Soon the others said goodbye and that left me and Johnny.

"Sorry 'bout today. How's your head?"

"I'm fine," he waved aside. "Sorry, 'bout your book. I'll buy you a new one," he offered.

"No, it's okay. Think I know it by heart. Ice Cream?" I held the bucket out to him. Instead he took my spoon and ate the ice I wanted to. So we started to eat on a rotating base. "You mind?" I asked as I leaned against his shoulder. Rather than an answer he wrapped his arm around me.

"I miss my little girl. Every time she couldn't sleep she came to my bed," I said suddenly.

"Why not your sister's?"

"Kelly is a wild one. She dates a lot and often she's not at home at night."

"What's with the dad?"

"There's no one. She said she doesn't know who he is."

"You don't believe her," he simply said and I shrugged.

"I'm goin' to bed, good night," I said and kissed his cheek. When I was about closing the door, he called my name so I stood still. "You look really pretty, littl' one." I smiled and closed the door.


	4. Chapter 4

„You're nervous?" Matt asked.

„No, everything's fine!" I said in a high voice. "I just wet my pants, Shadz."

We already had the sound check and I should be the first to enter the stage. No one will see me, because we made a plan. I'll walk onto stage while everything is black and the lights will shine when the guys join me. There will be no direct lights at the drums, till we finish the first song.

Johnny came with this idea while I told him that I'm afraid they'll justice me because I'm a girl.

"Then no one will see who you are. We play our song, and then Matt will introduce you to the crowd," he had said.

I was in one room with Matt, Zacky, Syn, Larry and Johnny. The girls were also backstage, but somewhere else. They already had wished me luck.

"So, time to go," Larry said and I followed him.

"Good luck, littl' one," Johnny said while hugging me.

"Kick their asses," Zacky said and Syn joined with a "Go and blow them away".

We stood in front of the stage and as the lights went out and the screaming went higher Larry pushed me on stage. I clutched my sticks and was glad I arrived at my familiar drums without tripping. I heard the crowd scream louder as the others were in their sight. And then there was no time for thinking anymore, Matt gave me the sign and then I started to play 'Nightmare'.

"How are you tonight, Orange Country?" Matt screamed and the audience screamed back as an answer. "We are Avenged Sevenfold and it's our pleasure to have our first gig in this new lineup at home. We like you to welcome our new drummer, Kay," he turned his head and looked at me, gave me a wink before he went on "kick this shit!" The lights above me turned on as he approached me and I started to play 'Welcome To The Family'. I was so into this song I even hadn't the chance to catch the response from the audience.

In the middle of the song I looked up and stared at Johnny's face who stood in front of my drums and smiled at me. When I gave him a smile back, he turned and fired the crowed up. Before the next song began I had to bind a ponytail, as I couldn't see anything. My hair was everywhere; especially in my face and in front of my eyes. The next song was the creepiest song I've ever heard and I had my part. We started to play the song I could play in my dreams – if I would.

Through my earphones I couldn't hear the audience and I think this was better, when my part came.

Then came Zacky's Part and he asked in a very, very creepy and dark voice "Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life?" and I answered with a "Yes, I do". I could see Johnny smiling as he passed my way and then Zacky asked Matt the same question and he answered with an "I do". Zacky added an "I now pronounce you" and that was my singing part for the evening – almost.

While Syn's solo Matt came by, took a sip from his water, which was standing in front of my drums – which were in the A7x design – and held his thumbs up. We played some songs and I was sweaty – really, really sweaty. It was so fuckin' hot in this room. All the people who were sweating, the lights above me and the dust – it was too much. So I started to undress my long top.

"Uh, starting a little striptease up there, Kay?" Zacky asked and spoke directly in his mic.

"You know, you guys are too hot for me," I answered in my mic and didn't hear Syn's reaction, as I had to plug my earphones in again. I was just wearing a little bandeau top. I didn't care what others were thinking, they did not even have to sit here in this sauna.

"Last time we played here our brother was here with us. Now he plays in heaven and sent us this little girl. This song is for you, Rev. We love you!" Everyone was quiet now and Matt sat down at his keyboard and began to play 'Fiction'. I joined him and the others tuned also. Matt's voice gave me bumps. This time nobody looked at my direction. I was sad. I know I didn't know this man but I saw not only this band grieved – this hole crowed was sad. I almost cried – and I'm not that type of girl who always shows her emotions.

After this song came 'Scream' and it seemed like they had recovered themselves. We played some songs and the crowd applauded as we left the stage. When we were out of sight I was buried under many sweaty tattooed arms. "You were great," Zacky screamed in my ear, 'cause the "Sevenfold" screams outside were so loud.

"Ready for another song?" While Matt asked he went on the stage again. Zacky's arm laid on my waist and he accompanied me to my place. The screaming was pretty loud and a big smile was on my face.

When everyone was ready I started to play. We played "Critical Acclaim" and when Matt whispered the "Shhhh be quiet we might piss somebody of" my other 'singing' part came. Matt had begged that I'd do my "like me motherfucker" scream again. Afterwards Matt thanked the crowed and we left the stage finally. The adrenaline pushed through my veins.

"That was unbelievable," I said dizzy and hugged Johnny again as the others joined us. It doesn't matter that we sweated, we were relieved. I got through the baptism of fire.

It still needed some time till we could go. It was like a blur. Larry hugged me and said he was very proud of me; the girls came and assured I did a great job.

"Sorry 'bout marrying your man," I told Val. She just laughed and said he had married Jimmy a lot more, so she's used to that. Zacky gave me a hoodie and I thankfully put it on.

There would be a party at Zacky's so I drove home while the others went straight to his place. I just needed a shower! When I arrived at home I took a little walk with Peanut. After that I took a quick shower. I straightened my hair – and was very pleased with Gena's work. I put makeup on, but it turned out to be a little more, so I had a very dark eye makeup and just a little bit colorlessly lip gloss on my lips. I had decided to wear a dress my mother bought me. It was a black dress, which only covered one shoulder. It was pretty simple. There was a small silver bound on the hips. I took black ballerinas and when I took a look in the mirror I saw a huge smile covering my face. I was satisfied with me!

I called for a taxi, because I didn't want to take my car. While waiting I called my dad. He had waited for my call and was as excited as I was. I could tell he was very proud, too.

When I arrived at Zacky's I was shocked. He owned a huge house – almost a villa. I heard voices and music from the backyard. I searched for faces I knew, but there were so much people I haven't seen before.

Finally I saw Michelle and was relieved. I quickened my pace and hugged her from behind.

"You look beautiful," she said with her stunning smile.

"You, too." She was wearing a dress – also a black one, but hers was all covered with sequins. "You know where the others are?"

She shrugged but then I saw Gena and Val stepping out of the house. They looked around and waved as they saw us. They deluged me with compliments. Maybe I should wear dresses more often, so they get used to it.

"We have to take a picture," Gena said and tipped a man on his shoulder and asked him, if he could take on. We posed and then we heard a "There are some of my favorite woman." We turned around and saw Syn standing behind us.

"What, I thought I was the only one for you?" Michelle pleaded her bottom lip.

"Yeah, but you know, there's also my mom and grandma bakes the best apple pie," he started to count with his fingers. She laughed and covered his mouth with her hand.

"Get you gone and grab us some beer," Val said and he pushed of. "So, and we're going to introduce you to our big family." The next hour they shooed me around and introduced me to the members of their family. I think I had to admit I liked Syn's father the most. I couldn't stop laughing while he talked to me. Then I saw Matt, he grabbed my hand and said he had to kidnap me.

He pulled me to the middle of the garden – I stumbled after him – and then I saw my band members.

"So, here's our lady. You give us your attention?" Zacky yelled and the crowd turned around to look at us. "This was our first show with this amazing woman and fuck, she did a great job. So we like to welcome her as an official member of the band." The people clapped their hands and I blushed a little bit. "As an official member, you have to get a present. This is our beloved friend Cam, he's an artist and he'll give you your first Avenged Sevenfold tattoo."

"What?" I yelled shocked while Cam walked towards me with a big grin in his face.

"Come on, it's not like it's your first one," Syn horned in.

"Yeah, but the first one I hadn't chosen myself."

"Oh, come on, just a little death bat on your chest," Cam said and had my whole attention.

"It's not your fault, but I definitely don't want another tattoo in the near future."

"So, if you don't want a tattoo we have to welcome you in another way," Matt said and when I turned around I saw him; in his hand a big bottle. And so the cork popped out and the liquid fired and bickered on me. He wasn't the only one who had such a bottle. Johnny, Zacky and Syn mimicked him.

I heard the audience laughing as I took a step in Matt's direction and took the bottle from his hand. He thought I would do the same and tip the vessel out.

"Stop wasting the good stuff," I said before taking a big swig from the Champaign. "Wah, I smell like a barrelhouse."

"We still love you," Matt said and took a sip from another bottle. Usually I would think about revenge, but today I didn't care. I didn't give a shit, because I was so damn happy.

"So what 'bout a toast? May we have a haunting time," Zacky held up his bottle and the guests did the same with their glasses.

"Cheers to the new woman in our family!" That was definitely Val and I winked at her before taking another sip.

"Come, I'll get you something to change," Gena, who stood suddenly next to me, said. "Maybe you should have your own clothes at our places, since you seem to be wet, whenever you're with us." The boys laughed when she mentioned the word wet. They acted like they were twelve.

"Wait a moment," I told her and walked to the pool. I removed my shoes and did a header into the water. When I turned up I saw that they had thrown Johnny also in the chloro water. He wasn't the only one who had joined me. Syn's little sister was soon also in the pool and her mother yelled at her, because she had still her clothes on. When I left the pool Gena laughed and mentioned it was no surprise, that they had picked me. I followed her into the house and changed.

After the little pool party the crowd cleared.

I ended up hanging around with my mates and their girls, Papa Gates (I liked to call him like that), as his wife had left with his daughter, Johnny's older brother and Cam.

We sat on the grass or laid there. My head was rested on Johnny's stomach, while his brother's head laid on mine. We were drinking beer and talked about the gig.

"Get up I have to pee like a race horse!" I pushed Adam off and stood up.

"God, I really love this woman! She doesn't mince her words," Johnny said while I went into the house. When I came back they sat in a circle. "What's up here? And where's Papa Gates?"

"We're going to play truth or dare and he decided he doesn't want to hear his son deepest secrets."

"Yeah, he still thinks I'm a virgin," Syn said with a serious voice, while we others laughed. God, we were so drunk!

"So, Kim's first. Truth or dare?"Zacky was the one who asked. I was afraid, so I told him, I'd pick truth.

"Soooooo," he said and rubbed his hands. "The last time you had sex?"

"So, let me think 'bout that. I think it was November 2007."

"What?" Gena looked shocked at me, while Syn spitted out his beer. "That's almost three years, you're kidding me."

"We're going to change that. Zacky, give us five minutes and your guestroom," Johnny said and tried to grab my hand, as I chipped his hand off and laughed.

"You only need one, short shit," Syn interjected.

"Really, why so long? I couldn't even imagine such a long time without any… you know contact."

"Val, it's called sex. Nothing to be embarrassed off," her husband reminded her.

"After Bryan's dead there was no one," I simply said. I hadn't spoken out his name for ages, but it didn't hurt that much. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe the people beside me. "So, now it's Syn's turn," I changed the subject.

"Dare," he said quickly like a shot.

"So, mime your most embarrassing nightly activity." He rose up, took my hands and lifted me also. "What you're doin'?" I asked confused.

"I show it to you!" he simply said. I thought about Michelle as his partner, but he wanted to embarrass me. After his performance my head was red as a fire drencher and he just laughed. God, he never felt awkward, this asshole!

There were some other actions, but one of the funniest was when Johnny sat on Matt's back and Matt played the horse. He had to carry Johnny five minutes and he hit Matt's ass the whole time. Then I had to feel sorry for Adam, as Gene waxed his breast. I know how much it could hurt on the legs; I didn't want to know how it feels in other regions.

"So Kim, you have to pick dare," Michelle said grinning.

"Striptease," Adam screamed, but the woman had another task for me. "Matt, give me your Sunglasses and Gena get me a hairdryer." I wasn't the only one who looked confused. It ended that I had to sit in Matt's parked car with the hairdryer in my hand and had to point at passing by cars and see if they slowed down. Actually I had to wait a fuckin' hour in this car till someone passed. I had turned on the radio and sang along with Mr. Justin Timberlake while waiting. The car really slowed down and I pokerfaced and glared at the driver.

I heard the laughter and saw that Michelle and Val were sitting on the curb. When I joined them they sang "Cry Me A River". Fuck, they heard me sing! But damn, I had love Justin at the age of...uhm don't know... 15 or so. I joined them, but I could still say I was too drunk and didn't know what I was singing when I joined the twins.

I jumped on Val's back and screamed "Senorita I feel for you" in her ear. She really carried me the way down where the others laid. We were singing this old song and the guys' heads raised as they looked shocked in our direction.

"What? We're drunk!" I said from Val's back and Michelle shrugged.

"That doesn't explain why you know the lyrics." Fuck, didn't think about that. But maybe they were too drunk, to know anything tomorrow? I left Val's back and stood on my own legs.

"What you're doin'?" I asked and pointed at Johnny who crawl on the ground and ignored the question.

"Searchin' for my butts," he said and I lifted the packet of Cigarettes, which laid in front of me on the ground, while he was on his knees.

I pulled one out and lit the lighter which was in the packet, took a deep drag of the cigarette and let the smoke out. "Yeah, would be nice to know where they were," I said and crammed the box into my pants pocket. Adam laughed, took a sip from my cigarette and handed it back to me. "Didn't know you smoke," he said.

"Actually I don't but sometimes when I have drunk too much, I need one," I explained and he nodded like he would understand. There was a bright light and I blinked before I realized it was Gena with her camera.

"That's a cute one," she said when she sat down on the other side of mine and we watched Johnny, who looked like a real dumbass. Gena also took a photo of him, one of kissing Val and Matt, Zacky who run after the other guitar guy and we made some photos while we made faces. "So I think I redeem my roommate, so he can escort me home."

I handed out the box and took a cigarette, told him, he could now accompany me home and started saying goodbye to my new self-appointed family. When I gave Synyster a hug, he snitched the ciggy and told me this wasn't healthy, while inhaling the nicotine.

When we were on the street – me surrounded by the Seward brothers – Johnny suddenly held out another Champaign bottle in his hand, obtruncated it and took a deep sip. We passed the alcohol around and laughed, about starkly unfunny things as we reached the flat. We dismissed the older brother and he kissed my cheeks, while I hugged the big guy. Actually I managed to climb the stairs, change into my sleeping shirt and fall into bed, where the little dog laid. I didn't give a shit.


	5. Chapter 5

This stupid bastard! Are his fingers glued on the bell or why couldn't he stop ringing? I rose up and walked dizzy to the door. I opened it and there stood an elder man.

"Hmm?" I just asked while he was staring at me.

"We're here for the appointment," he said.

"Sorry, but you woke me up. Could you please explain it to me?" Damn, my brain wasn't on work now.

"The waterbed? On the name Seward?"

"Wait, I have to take a call." I searched for my phone while the man stood there and waited impatiently.

"Motherfucker, did you ordered a waterbed and didn't tell me? By the way, where are you?" I yelled at Johnny, when he answered the phone.

"Yes, I have. I have some things to do. Just let them in I'll be home lately. I owe you something!" I hung up without saying goodbye.

"Yeah, this way," I said to the man and opened the door to Johnny's room. There was no bed anymore! What the fuck? Was I dead for a day? When did he remove his bed? Whatever! I told the man this was the room and he nodded. I left it and walked into the kitchen to brew some coffee. I took a look at the clock. It was eight. First: Why had they waked me up on such an uncivilized hour and second: Johnny was already on tour? What the hell had happened?

I took my cup and I actually wanted to see if the worker needed something but then I saw this cute boy walking into the apartment carrying a big packet. Fuck! And certainly I looked like a mess. So I changed direction and walked into the bathroom, brushing my messy hair and removed the last makeup.

I hadn't any clothes in here so I had to walk into my room and change. Hopefully he wasn't on the corridor seeing me walking by only in a big Vengeance shirt. Zacky had given me some and I really liked them. I told him, if he would make a special shirt for me I would wear it on tour.

But enough of that! I tried to creep unnoticed into my room, but for sure there stood this cute guy who smiled at me. I waved and closed the door behind me, so I could change my clothes. Suddenly I remembered the dog! The door was still open. With the new shirt still covered my head I opened the door, stepped into the corridor and yelled for Peanut. No little footsteps on the ground. Fuck! I took my keys and went through the open door. When I was outside I yelled again, but there was no sight of the little pet.

I walked down the street and hoped that it was the direction the little dog had run. The people who crossed my way just looked at me like I was insane. I mean I was screaming for a nut! Johnny would kill me if something happen to his littl' thing. I had to chuckle, because of my thoughts. Certainly I meant his animal!

I heard a little noise from the bush next to me. I turned my head and saw brown fur between the green petals. "Peanut?" I asked and the whimper was getting louder. I stepped on the dooryard and kneeled down, to take the little puppy. "Oh, what's there on your paw?" I asked as I saw that it was bleeding. Seemed like I had to walk to the veterinarian. I walked home with the pet on my arms.

"Uhm, how much time you need?" I asked the working men.

"Some time, it'll take, Ma'am. We also need to fill it and …"

"Okay, I have to see the vet, so I'll leave you my cell phone number, if you need anything." I wrote it down and handed it the older man, before I left the house with the whining dog. I had to call Gena and asked her, where to find the doctor. I didn't want to worry Johnny.

After two hours I was home again and the little dog had a bandage on his paw. He had stepped into a thorn. And damn, the "care giving" was expensive! The men hadn't finished, they filled the bed with water when I took a look into Johnny's room. I hadn't thought about letting them alone in the apartment. Now it was too late.

I asked the men, if they would want a coffee also, but they refused. I sat down on the couch, took my nerdy glasses and put them on, so I could read my new book. It was one, my mom gave to me. "Pet Sematary" from Stephen King.

I heard a hawk from behind. "Ma'am, we're ready."

"Oh, thank you," I said and was scared if I had to pay for their work. As if the old man could read my mind he told me it was already paid. I accompanied them to the door, gave the cutie a smile and closed the door. I went back and got into my book.

I started screaming, when there was a hand on my shoulder. I throw the book, it almost hit Peanut, who jumped up. I couldn't stop screaming and looked shocked at the owner of the hand.

"You scared me to hell, you dirty bastard," I said when I calmed down a little.

"Why you're reading such books, if you can't handle them?" He asked, but I ignored it.

"Your fuckin' bed is in your room. Oh and I almost forgot, Peanut got injured, while he had left the apartment, 'cause I was so taken by surprise 'bout men in the apartment, that I forgot he could…" I stopped as I noticed he didn't listen to me anymore. He was at Peanut's side and looked at his bandage. "It's nothing dramatic, he just tapped into a thorn and it cost me far too much for the doctor to remove it," I said, when I was sure he would listen. With Peanut on his arms he looked for his new furniture.

"Sorry Peanut, nothing for you," I heard him say and then a loud groan. I followed him and saw Johnny on his bed. "Hey, move aside," I said, before I joined him. "I'm in heaven! I'm not leaving this place today," I said.

"Okay, what 'bout that, I'll get some food, you put fresh linen on the bed and then we'll watch a movie, littl' nerd," he suggested and I agreed.

Half an hour later, he had grabbed something from the Chinese shop down the street and I had made his bed and also cleaned up a bit. Peanut was adequately supplied so we laid down and zapped through the television. There was nothing so I told him I would grab a DVD. "I don't watch a schmaltzy flick," he yelled. I grabbed one of my favorite DVD's and when the opening was shown I saw he was satisfied with my choice.

We watched 'Inglorious Bastards' and ate our food. I stopped the movie, so I could bring the dirty dishes outside. I knew they would lay here weeks. I opened a bottle of wine, took two glasses and came back.

One I pressed Johnny's hand and kept the other. I lifted his arm and snuggled up to him. He fondled my arm.

"Need some share of kindness and affection, uh?" he asked.

"I'm a girl, I always need some," I told him. True, true. When I was home I always had my little niece I could cuddle the whole day. Here I was alone.

Then there was this scene, where the Bastards took the scalps from the dead men and I jerked. "You're quiet jumpy today."

"Yeah, think, it's not my day," I said while he stroked my goose bump on my forearm. At this moment his cell phone started ringing and I jerked again. He laughed silently, but his stomach was shaking.

"Hey V, what's up?" I heard him say. I couldn't hear what Zacky said. "No, just having a bed warming party with my lady," he said and I decided to join in.

"Put away your phone, Honey. I need you right here," I said loud enough to hear and took the phone from his hand and pressed the red button. We laughed and a minute later the phone ringed again. I still had it in my hands so I answered it. "Who's bothering?" I asked bugged.

"Is Zacky right?" Syn asked me.

"Don't know what he said," I told him in my bugged voice.

"You're makin' out with Johnny?" He empathized the last word.

"What business is it of yours? Good night, Syn," I said and disconnected again. "Think they'll have something to talk 'bout."

"Sure, they'll do."

I tried to watch the film again, but Brad Pitt couldn't chain me anymore. "So you mind if I ask you something personal?" I raised my head and looked into his eyes.

"No, what do' ya want to know?"

"Why you're living alone. I mean you had this girlfriend…," I said awkwardly.

"You want to know why Lacey and I had broken up? That's nothing dramatic it didn't fit anymore. She needed a steady man and I was always touring. She wanted a family and I wasn't ready for that. That's all. Happens all the time."

"Hmmm," I just said and rested my head again. I don't know but I felt really comfortable. "Maybe that sounds selfish, no it sounds definitely selfish, but I'm glad you're living here with me."

"You selfish beast, but I'm also glad. Free cleaning woman, you know? Maybe I should buy you a uniform and a feather duster?" I hit him before I curled up like a cat, my arms around his tummy and he stroked my back. Maybe I wasn't the only one who was lonely some time.

"You know, I don't think I'm ever gonna leave this bed," I said and yawned.

"You're welcome for the night," I heard him saying and watched the absolutely brilliant Austrian actor, while he tried to fool the bastards. It didn't took me long to drop off.

The next morning began with the doorbell – once again. I moaned and turned around. "I'll get it," I heard a male voice. Wait, male voice? Oh yeah, this wasn't my bed – this one was way more comfortable. So I rose up; I needed the bathroom. I walked on the floor, tapping fast because the linoleum was way too cold for my bare feeds. I saw the guys and Johnny in the corridor. Johnny was only wearing his boxers and Matt, Syn and Zacky glared at me as I walked by and waved my hand.

Why do I look like a mess, when I get up? In movies the women _always_ look perfect. But my hair stood up in all directions, I had a replica from the pillow in my face and I needed to brush my teeth. I decided, when I'm already in the bathroom, I could take a shower.

When I was showered and shaved I left the bathroom wrapped in a towel. "Get your bikini on, we're going' to the beach," I heard Matt's voice. He sounded like he was pissed off.

"No practice?" I asked when I entered the living room.

"No practice!" Matt answered and it seemed as he would like to throw daggers with his eyes.

"Okay," I just said. "So can we go?"

Without anything to say Matt flounced out of the room and I followed him. I decided to take a ride with my car, while the others –except Zacky, who joined me – took Matt's SUV.

"So, I live at the beach and haven't been there," I tried to begin the small talk.

"Stop talking this bullshit. I want to know what happened last night," he said while I backed out of the parking space.

"Everything?" I decided to expend the whole thing. I saw him nodding out of the corner of my eyes. "So, you know Johnny had bought this new bed and when he came home we just laid there and when I got hungry he attended the food. So we laid in the bed and decided to watch a movie. I picked 'Inglorious Bastards'. You know it? It's about some people, who try to blow up a cinema where the highest…"

"Stop talking about the film, tell me what happened between the short shit and you," he interrupted me.

"As I said we laid in bed and watched an movie and theeeeeen…" God, I loved it to torture him.

"What happened then?" I was a bit confused. If I had slept with Johnny, would he want to know everything?

"Theeeen I had fallen asleep and had been woken up by some freaks who stood in front of the door."

"That's everything?" I nodded. "Matt will be satisfied, he's so pissed off."

"No shit?" I mumbled. So when I arrived Matt's car was already there and I told Zacky to buy the parking ticket. When I had put it behind my windshield, I followed Zacky, who stood before the sand was waiting for me.

"Why are we at the beach?" I asked confused.

"Matt wanted to talk to you and Val had mentioned anytime, if you have to talk about something important you should search for a noncommittal location."

"What?" That was such bullshit – and I even didn't understand it. He just shrugged and told me he didn't understand either.

"So I see them. Please don't tell them immediately. I like to enjoy the show."

"Me either," I assured him. When we joined them Matt hadn't even light up so I thought Johnny hadn't told them. Here we go!

"Could somebody put on some lotion on my back?" I asked while undressing my top.

"Think that's your part, Johnny," Zacky said and got a whammy from Matt.

"No way, you're not touching her anymore, do you understand?" Matt exploded and I wasn't the only one who gazed him.

"What?" I was really shocked. Now it was my turn. I know I even hadn't sex with Johnny – and believe me I'm not considering this – but he could not tell me what to do!

"Matt, that's a bit strange don't you think?" Syn asked him.

"No. We're a band – we are a family. She's one of us and he wasn't allowed to seduce her," Matt shouted and some family's looked at our direction.

"Who said she hadn't seduced me?" Johnny interrupted.

"Wait!" I told them and I was really pissed off at that time. "No one – and when I say no one I mean no one – tells me with whom I'll have sex. I hadn't have sex with Johnny, calm down Shadz, but you're not going to decide on my life." I glared at him.

"It's just like I said. We're family and you're like a little sister. If you had Sex with him – what would happen with us? I don't want to lose another drummer," he said less noisy. "I don't want to control your live, you're old enough – I'm just thinking 'bout the consequences. WAIT… You two hadn't made out?" He looked confused.

"You're quick on the uptake, what?" Sarcasm is my native language, did I mentioned that before?

Soon Matt hugged me and mumbled something like he already had seen that I'm leaving the band because of the jerk or something like that.

"They didn't had have sex," he screamed out loud and I interrupted with a "Shut the fuck up, dumbass" while Zacky was covering his mouth.

Right then my phone ringed. I saw it was Val who called me. I answered the phone. "What's up, Val?"

"I wanted to talk to you! And where are you I'm at the studio but no one's here."

"We're on the beach," I explained.

"Why you're on the beach? I thought you have band practice today."

"That's what I also thought, but it seemed like your husband had to talk with us."

"On the beach?" she asked confused.

"Neutral location or so," I mumbled.

"Don't get it, but never mind. I'll join you." She hung up.

"Val's coming, guys," I said. "And I think I need a cooling." I rose up and walked to the water. The woman who was closest to our place eyed me carefully. I just put my toes into the water and pulled them out as soon as they reached the cold water. But then I was very brave and took some steps into the ocean. My body was full of goose bumps.

"Oh my Gosh, that's so fuckin' cold," I exclaimed and heard a laughter beside me.

"Yeah, we all see that," Syn said while starring at my breasts. Then he took a step in my direction and pushed me forward so I was fully underwater.

"That means revenge," I screamed as I turned up. I was fishing for an alga and throw it into his face. He screamed like a girl and then the battle began. Soon we were joined by Matt and Zacky. I ended up on Matt's shoulders, Zacky on Syn's and we fought. It was an equated battle but then Matt stumbled and we were underwater. The other team started some winning singsong when we were walking to our place again. Johnny was sitting next to Val and they smiled at us, when we joined them.

"Val you need a new husband. Can't use this anymore, we lost 'cause of him," I complained.

"Sorry, but I think you have to deal with him," she said while I sat down next to her. Matt put on his cute dimple smile and Val smiled back. "So come here honey," she said and leaned into the kiss. "By the way, why are you at the beach?"

"Band things," Matt murmured at her lips and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, I forgot, your phone rang," Johnny said and handed it to me.

My phone doesn't know this number, so I just called back. Maybe it was something important.

"Hello?" I asked after I heard that someone had picked up. "Who's there?"

"Oh, you called back." There was a little silence. I still didn't know who was on the phone. "Here's Marc. Uhm… I was in your apartment… God, that sounds creepy. I brought the waterbed," he finally said and I chuckled.

"Yeah… I remember," I said when I thought of the sweet guy with the cute smile. "Why you're calling?"

"I want you to ask you out."

"Like a date?" I asked to be on the safe side.

"Yes… only if you like."

"Sure, I would."

"What about Sunday? We could go to Sugar Shake Café and if you'd like to we could watch a movie in the evening. We could meet at the café at 6 p.m."

"Sounds good! I'll be there."

"Fine then… See you on Sunday."

"Yeah, see you." We disconnected and I saw the questioning glances my members throw at me.

"You have a date? With who?" Johnny asked.

"I won't tell you. I saw what happened the last time. Matt was freaking out and yelling at me," I said sulky.

"But that's something different. We just want to know who you're dating. Wait… You don't know much people here." It seemed like he was thinking about someone I could date. "Please tell me it's not my brother," he sounded desperate.

"Nope, it's not your brother, but that's everything you winkle out of me!" Val smirked and the others didn't stop asking stupid questions, but like I said I didn't answer them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Next upload... I have to say I really like this chapter. It started as a joke when I talked to my friend and then I thought I had to write it down! So, Kim is on a date and... well I can't say too much, you'll see. I hope you'll have fun and thanks for the reviews! I had to laugh soo hard while reading them!**

I pulled down the zipper of my corsage top as the doorbell rang. Because I did not expect someone I decided Johnny could answer the door. I opened my small jewelry box and pulled out a silver necklace with a little elf on it, which I got it about four years ago from a very good friend of mine. While I struggled with the fastener the door flew open and Zacky greeted me.

I shook my head – what about knocking on the door? But before I could say anything he disappeared. I put on some creoles, which were covered by my curly hair. I decided to go with my spotted pumps which fit my top.

"So, I'm out. What you're doin' tonight?" I asked the boys as I went to the living room to say good bye.

"Just watching some football. You're sure you want to go dressed like that?"

"What 'bout my outfit?" I asked.

"It's much too sexy!" Johnny and Zacky said synonymous. I wore long tight jeans, so not much skin to show except from my arms and my neck.

"Like I told you before, none of your business. Good night, guys," I said while leaving the apartment.

It wasn't cold but I still had caught my coat – who knows when I'll be home. I knew the café wasn't far away so I had decided to take a walk. When I arrived at the café I had five more minutes, but Marc was already here.

"Hey," I said and didn't know how to great him.

"Hey Kim, nice to meet you," he pulled me into a light hug and barely kissed my cheek. "You want to sit inside?" he asked and I agreed.

"Actually I was a bit confused by your call. I hadn't expected it," I said after sitting down.

"Uhm, you gave us your number when you left for the veterinarian and I decided I had to take my chance."

"I'm glad," I said and smiled at him. The waiter came and asked for our order. I ordered a coffee and Marc took also one.

"So how was your weekend?" I asked. Gosh, the last date I had was with Bryan and I was sweet sixteen. So what do you talk about on a date?

"Oh, now it's fine. I had to work yesterday, so this is my day off. Thanks," he said to the waiter who had just brought the coffee. "Do you want to eat something?" he asked me.

"No, I'm fine, thanks."

"So, I would like to know more 'bout you. You're not from here, are you?" he asked.

"No, I was born in Sacramento."

"Why did you come here?"

I took a sip from the hot coffee before answering. "Got a job, so I moved here."

"Oh, what a job…," before he could finish his question the door was opened and let the wind inside.

I couldn't believe who'd entered the café! They saw us and waved before walking at our table.

"I can't believe it," I murmured.

"Me, too. Holy shit, two members of Avenged Sevenfold and they're on their way to us," he said excited and very quick.

"Hey, Kim. Hey…," Zacky said while my companion quickly added "Marc".

"What you're doin' here?" I asked annoyed.

"We just want a beer, you mind if we join you?" Johnny was quiet the whole time.

"Well…," I began but Zacky and Johnny already had taken a seat.

"You know each other?" Johnny and Zacky grinned from ear to ear because of the question.

"Johnny's my roommate," I explained while he ordered some beer.

"That means the bed was for you?" I'm sure he's that type of who's facebook status will be something like 'Today I met some members of A7x. They're so cool' or something like that. I wouldn't be surprised if he would ask me to take a photo and I even wouldn't be surprised if they would enjoy it.

"Yep and it's awesome! Isn't it, Kim?" were Johnny's first words.

"Sure," I said until I realized the meaning of his words. "That doesn't mean we'd make out," I told my date but he was still dazzled by the two men in front of him to notice. He and Zacky were deep in a conversation and Johnny smiled at me. I just wanted to beat him so he wouldn't smile anymore. "What's this about?" I whispered instead.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"You're such jerks," I said while I rose up and walked to the bar and pulled out my phone.

'_You've plans 4 tonight?_' I texted Gena.

"A tequila, please," I ordered and waited for Gena to respond.

'_Val is coming. U want 2 join us?'_

'_Would be great! I'll call V'_

"Thanks," I said as the waiter put the glass in front of me and down the drink in one swig while I tried to call Val.

"What's up?" Val asked as she answered the call.

"You mind picking me up?" I asked her.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?" she asked and I heard her dog in the background, so she was still at home.

"Actually I am, but I don't know who the biggest dick is: Gena's man, my stupid roommate or the jerk I was supposed to date!" I saw the waiter smiling as he heard my words and he refilled my glass.

"Where are you? I'll pick you up and then you have to tell me everything!" I told her the name of the café and she promised she would be there in 15 minutes. I took a look at the table, but it seemed as my date hadn't even noticed I wasn't there anymore.

"Bad day?" the waiter asked as my phone disappeared in my bag.

"You can say that again!"

"Should I give them a note that you left?"

"No, very kind of you, but that's something I have to do myself." I pulled out a twenty dollar note and put it on the bar table.

"It's on the house," he put it off.

"You know what? Just put it on their bill," I pointed at Johnny, before I walked to the table where the assholes sat. I bend forward – still be aware of, that they would have a great view at my cleavage – and said: "I'm going to leave now, so have a nice evening guys 'cause I'll!" With these words I left and waited outside for Val's car.

Then she arrived and opened the door from inside and I hopped inside.

"You had a drink?" she asked. I just nodded.

"Want to talk 'bout it at Gena's?" I nodded again. So we drove quietly. She turned up the volume of the radio and my hands soon followed the beat.

I pushed the bell as we stood in front of the big house. Soon Gena opened the door and kissed my cheek.

"So, tell us _everything_!" Val said while walking into the kitchen and Gena and I followed her.

"It started as I left the apartment. Both, Johnny and Zacky, told me I was dressed too sexy." The two women snorted, but I continued while Gena cooked.

"So, I met my date and we talked as the two dumbasses – sorry Gena– entered the bar and joined Marc and me."

"What?" Gena asked and looked up with the knife in her hand. "No way! What did they do?"

"They meant they just wanted a beer and Marc was totally inspired 'bout meeting two rock stars…"

Gena interrupted me. "You mean three!"

"Well, he didn't know I'm part of the band. They came before I could tell him. So Zacky talked to him and he didn't pay attention to me anymore. He didn't realize I had went to the bar and talked to you."

"No way, what a dick!"

"That's what I thought!" I picked up a piece of slighted tomato and Gena rapped me over the knuckles.

"What was that for? I mean…" I said with the tomato in my mouth.

"If I wouldn't know my man, I would say he was jealous," Gena finished my sentence.

"But there were the two of them, so what's that about?" Val interjected."Think we'll never know. But for sure Johnny won't get any presents for his birthday!"

"His birthday?" I still had this confused expression on my face.

"On the 18th he'll turn 26," Gena explained while she put the vegetables into the bowl.

"Ouch, that's Thursday."

"Right, Sweetie. Surprise Party at our place. Actually Matt should tell you, but I guess he forgot."

"Yeah, seemed so. Should I set the table?"

"Would be nice. Plates are here, eating irons over there," she pointed at the corresponding cabinets and drawers.

Soon Val followed me into the dining room with the salad in her hands. Gena brought the meat and we talked about bits and pieces. After finishing the diner the landlady brought her notebook.

"I have to show you the pictures from the party. Some are really cute, but some are," she paused and thought about a word which fit, "creepy. Zacky wants to upload some, but I told him, you should give your okay first, before everyone could see them on his homepage."

"Don't know if I'm ever gonna talk to him again, but I definitely want to see these pictures!"

She opened the program and Val and I cozied up.

"Ow, this one is cute! I definitely have to print it!" Val squealed and pointed at the screen, which showed Michelle, her, Gena and me.

"That's really pretty. I also want a copy," I agreed.

"We can decide which one we want to print and drive to the photographic studio. They could frame it," Gena suggested and I nodded. "But I have to admit my favorite is yet to come."

But by time I saw the huge dog entering the room and I rose up to greet the friendly dog. "Hey Majesty, you missed me?" I asked while I stroke her ears. "Oh and Icky's also here!" I tried to pat the dog but he snapped for my fingers.

"Kim, you have to see these ones," lured Gena me to come back, while Val couldn't stop laughing. It seemed Gena had the camera in her hand as the guys told me I was getting tattooed, the Champaign shower, my bath in the pool, the truth or dare (my favorite was the one when Johnny sat on Matt' back). They were gorgeous and some people would pay much money for it, but Gena promised the embarrassing ones would never leave her notebook.

So we picked the ones we liked and as we pulled on our shoes the door opened and Zacky and Johnny entered the house with a big smile on their face. "… he's really cool. We were falsely alarmed…" Johnny's words stuck in his throat as he saw our expressions. "Hey Ladies," he said but no one answered.

"We'll talk later, Zachary!" Gena said and throw daggers with her eyes. "And be sure, if you set one foot outside again today you'll know sex only from your memories!"

Seemed as they were also pissed, but I couldn't say anything. My throat felt constricted.

"But…," he began, but stopped and stepped aside so Gena put a hand on my back and pushed me through the door. Once we were outside the mood lightened.

"So, as Johnny's birthday is soon we need something other to pay them back."

"Let's think about it, Ladies." We walked down the street to the city.

"Today was the perfect example: I don't need a man! Although if you find Mr. Darcy tell him where I live," I joked.

"Isn't it the movie with Colin Firth?" Val asked.

"Yeah, one of them."

"So, why don't we tell the boys you met a nice guy? But we don't tell them the whole story; we just make noises, so they get pry. Colin is the nice guy we just met today. He's tall…," Gena began.

"…well built...," attuned Val.

"…older than me…," I joined the daydream.

"…not a stalker…," as Val added the point Gena chuckled and I also had to laugh a little. We joked some more, until Val broached a new topic.

"We still have no present for the little one. Matt told me the guys have one, but he wouldn't tell me what. We need something that'll blow them away!"

"Don't tell to loud when they're around, you know what they'll say," I caused them to laugh.

The evening turned out right. "Oh my Gosh!" I said and stepped closer to the shop window. "It's so pretty!" I stared at the dress. It was blue and in style of the 50's.

"It would look pretty on you," the two women agreed.

"Think I'll have to come here tomorrow and try it when the shop is open."

"And you'll wear it on Thursday. Right, you'll come at my place, I'll renew your hair color and make a hairstyle which will fit the dress."

"Alright!"

So we kept on walking until we reached the shop, which was opened 24 hours a day. We picked a frame for each of us and Val also picked one for her sister. We printed the picture and some others and left the place happily.

"So, we still need the present," I reminded the others. "Wait! So, he's a bassist and what if we could deal with a bass from a famous person? Signed? The guys couldn't do better than that!"

"That's it! But where could we get these?"

"Think I could manage something," Gena said smiling. So with this in our mind, we walked towards a little bar, sat down and talked about the upcoming party until we decided to walk home. As we reached Gena's house Johnny's car wasn't there but I wasn't sure, if it had been there as we had left. We dismissed and then Val drove me home.

Johnny's door was closed and I was satisfied with that. I just went to the bathroom, changed my clothes and then walked into my room. I set up the two framed photos (there was also one with the guys) and laid down with my book.

The next day began early as I hadn't had much sleep. So I got ready with my usual clothes (shorts and a Papa Roach Shirt) and left the apartment before Johnny even woke up. I drove to the shop I had seen last night and the vendor looked a little bit shocked when I entered and said I wanted that dress from the shop window in size 6. She looked at me like I was crazy, but then she got it and hung it in the changing room. It fit perfectly and I had to buy it! I took a look at the price tag – it was affordable.

I bought it, the vendor wrapped it into a clothes bag and I put it on the backseats of my car, before driving to the studio. I was the first one there and played along, until the others arrived.

"You're overambitious, Kay," Matt said after entering the room.

"Don't think so, just trying to fill the gaps," I said and put the sticks into my hinder pants pocket.

"What gaps?" he asked and sat down on a chair.

"Oh come on, you guys have way more experience than me. I need to practice way more then you."

"True, you're the fresh meat," he grinned.

"No, you're just old!" I retorted and he moued. That was the point when Zacky, Johnny and Syn entered the room and I shut up.

"Good Morning, Motherfuckers," Syn greeted and the other two stayed silent.

"Brian, the drummer girl is mean. She said, we're old," Matt encumbered.

"But, we are old," Syn said and at this time my phone rang. I saw it was Gena.

"Hello Love of my life, what's up?" I greeted her.

"I'm your woman if you need a special bass. I got one and…"

"Oh my Gosh, you got it? I love you! From… wait, way too much people around me, I have to go outside," I said while I rose and left the studio so I stood next to my car.

"So who's is it?" I asked when I was sure no one was around.

"You know the guys were on tour with Metallica in 2006…," she began.

"Sure I know, that lucky bastards. I'm so jealous!" I interrupted her, but she just talked like I had said nothing.

"…and I got the bass from Robert Trujillo from that tour. Say, you'll love me."

"I love you! Oh by the way I got that dress, can I give it to Zacky, so you could keep it till…" I saw Johnny coming out of the studio and stopped talking.

"…Thursday." She finished my sentence. "Sure I can, just give it to him. Think there's someone behind you?"

"Sure. So I'll see you, honey."

"Bye and don't forget you love me."

"Never will," I said before disconnecting.

"Uhm, can we talk?" Johnny asked shyly. Shyly? Who's he and what did he had done with short shit?

"Sure," I said while crossing my arms over my chest. I leant down at my car.

"Actually I don't know what I've done to piss you up...," he started and I exploded.

"You don't know what you've done? YOU DON'T KNOW?" I screamed, grabbed his hand and walked inside the studio and stormed into the room where the others were sitting.

"Listen, dumbasses. I swear if anyone of you will ever stalk me again I'll quit being your drummer. As much as I love it, but I'm an adult, not a child and I can protect myself! So, if I ever see someone watching me again you can search for someone new. Is that clear?" I asked and felt like a mother with her children in front of them, who looked guilty. They nodded in unison.

"And is that also clear for you?" I asked Johnny, who was still at my hand.

"Yes, Ma'am." He said.

"Then start practicing, so I can go home and have some distance from you." I walked towards my drum. "And Zacky, before you go, I have to give you something." I said and he nodded again. It was a much tensed atmosphere while the practice and so we didn't do as long as usual.


	7. Chapter 7

Actually I was standing on the terrace of Zacky's house, had a lot of silvery foil in my hair, Gena beside me and a cigarette in my hand. We watched the dogs which were running in the garden. Soon Gena had her camera in her hand (I would swear it was glued on her palm) and she took some pictures of us. Actually we looked really dumb, made faces and posed with my 'beautiful' hair jewelry and our fags.

"So, you know how the boys will allure Johnny at Val's place?"

"They didn't tell me, but Zacky was pissed that I didn't want to tell him 'bout our present. I mean we should be pissed, especially you after it was Zacky who told Johnny they should stalk you," she sputtered.

"What do you mean?" I asked interested and inhaled the nicotine.

"So, after you have left for your date, Zacky came up with the topic. And he talked lots of shit, what would be if your date was a raper, serial killer or something like that. So Johnny was so worried that they look after you." I was shocked and as she saw my expression she added an "Ow, I shouldn't let that drop."

"No, it's cool. Actually I know what happened." She wanted to drop that subject and I was eager too. "So, today I saw Johnny. And I didn't tell him he would get his present later, 'cause he think he's still with the guys. I bought a little sweater for peanut and handed it to him with a serious face."

Gena laughed. "What did he say?"

"He just thanked me and asked me if I would like to join him. He's with his family today, but I told him I had an appointment with my hairdresser. He just took Peanut – he really put him the sweater on and left." I laughed. "If he really think this is everything he'll get I'm such a bad roommate." I draw double points in the air when I said he.

"But a good actor. So, I think the color is ready and you shouldn't get a cold, 'cause you're standing here outside." She stubbed out the cigarette and I imitated her. We had much fun and after washing my hair, she gave me a new haircut and then she did the absolute famous job with my hairdo. There was so much volume in my hair, she had to restrain it with a braid and then she pinned it up. It was so pretty and she used so much hairspray I was sure the wasps would siege me tonight.

"You're my hero. I wish I could do something like that," I said when I took a look in the mirror.

"But then I would be useless. I'm glad you like it. Make yourself a home, I have to do my hair now," she said and left me alone.

"Where's the present by the way?" I asked her, when we stood both in the bathroom.

"In my car. I couldn't hide it here as I saw Zacky was looking at the cloth bag you gave him."

"Men," we groaned at the same time and laughed a little.

"Fuck, why can't I do something like that?" My eye was full of black paint.

Gena laughed again. "What did you do, silly?"

"Hey, I'm not using make up often and I tried to do an eyeliner." I said while removing the paint.

"Let me do it," she said and soon she did my entire make up.

"It's just like I hadn't had much of girl time. I was always with Bryan and Josh. I had a female friend, but she had moved away so I started behaving like a boy," I said while she put on some mascara on my eyes.

"Now you've us. We'll have so much girl time you'll get tired of it. But on the other side, you're always with the guys and you live with Johnny, so you'll need that. Put on your shoes, beautiful, we have to leave to help Val with the arrangements."

When we arrived at the house, there was nothing to see from the outside that there will be a party, but on the inside there you'll be sure about it. There's a banner on the wall which said 'Happy Birthday' and there stood a table with liquor and food on it. There were boxes everywhere and tables on the outside.

"Seemed we're a little late," Gena said, who wore a short white dress. Actually she reminded me of Marilyn Monroe.

"Vaaaal, where are you?" Gena screamed and Val answered she was in the kitchen. So we walked there.

"Oh my Gosh, you need to change, we'll take care of the rest," I said while looking at Val who just looked stressed.

"Thanks, I'll have twenty minutes before the first one will come." Michelle walked through the door and soon everything was where it belonged.

About an hour later the living room was filled. There were people I knew, like Adam and Jason and Matt Berry (our Roadies), but also many unknown faces. So we were waiting for the guys to call that they're on their way.

"Fuck, everyone be quiet. Matt had called me, but I didn't hear anything, so I think they…"

"So, where are the harlots?" we heard Johnny scream. "Matt at your house? Didn't Val say anything?"

"…should be here soon," Val finished her sentence.

We saw Johnny confused in front of us, the band behind him, as Adam screamed "Surpriiiiiiise," but it sounded pathetic as he was the only one who said it.

"Well, that's really a surprise. I expected some hot harlots and the only one I see is you fatass like I haven't seen you the whole day."

"Hey," I complained and Johnny took a look at me. He looked at me shocked.

"You're my harlot? Way better," he said and took some steps into my direction.

"You dope, there are no harlots. Val planned a surprise party for you short shit, so be grateful," Matt said and Val didn't look happy as it seemed the surprise failed.

"Think I still take her," Birthday kid said and slung an arm around my waist.

"You won't take Kim when you see our present. I'll get it," Gena said.

"Hey!" I complained again. "Stop acting like I'm a toy or something. I'll get it, give me your keys," I said laughing and caught the keys she were throwing at my direction. So while the others could still congratulate Johnny I walked to Gena's car and opened the trunk and got the heavy, big present. It was in a wrapped box, so he wouldn't know soon what it was.

"I hope you'll gave him your presents already, 'cause after this one they'll seem puny. Sit down, Johnny, before you'll collapse. This one is from Gena, Val, Michelle and me." I said and placed the present carefully on his lap.

Eagerly he tore the gift wrap away and opened the box. It seemed as his eyes would fall off. "Is this real?" he asked and Val and the others nodded as we stood in a row in front of him.

"What is it?" Matt asked eagerly and shoved me aside as he tried to take a look at the present.

"It's THE fucking Bass," he just said and his eyes sparkled.

"What bass?" Syn asked and tried to look at the box.

"It's Robert Trujillo's bass from your tour with them," Gena explained and their maxillary dropped.

"Signed," Johnny added and sounded as he was already in love with the bass.

"So enough of the hokum, start the music," Jason, who was called JB by everybody, screamed and the music filled the room but, Johnny still couldn't avert his gaze.

"Gena, take a picture quickly, he looks so cute now, we won't ever see that again," I said and sat down next to Johnny and posed.

"I love you! I really, really love you, girls. Come here, I need to hug you," he said and pulled an arm around my shoulder and waved with the other for the girls to come. So it ended up with a group hug.

"Come on Pussy, you'll have a party right here," Syn said and held out a beer for Johnny.

"You're just jealous, 'cause I steal your woman," he retorted.

"He's right. That's your night, we won't steal your time anymore and you have every time in the world to be in love with this," I said smiling and pointed at the bass.

"Think I have," he said and looked really happy. I saw Gena looking at me and we both smiled.

"We'll get you a drink and then you'll tell me everything about Colin, Missy!" Michelle said and grabbed my hand.

"Who's Colin?" I heard one of the guys ask but then I was too far away, to hear if anyone answered it.

"So, what do you like to drink? I know I'll mix you a Caipirinha. I make good ones, believe me," she said and started to mix the ingredients.

"Holy shit, this is kind of strong," I said after the first sip.

"I'm your personal barkeeper tonight," she said and every time my glass was empty she refilled it with something new. So, when I was back with my men I was pretty drunk.

"So, you know … I have to apologize. I was such a bitch the last days," I said while I sat down on Johnny's lap. "I hate being a bitch and I swear when we're on tour I'll be the old Kay. I'm sure as hell I'll be! No bitch anymore, 'cause I knew you just thought it was the best for me," I said and leaned forwards and kissed Zacky's cheek.

"Stop rubbing on my dick, or I'll need new pants," Johnny said and the others laughed.

"If you say so," I said and rose up. "So, where's my personal slave for today? Syn have you seen your wife?"

"Thought she had promised me, she would be my slave tonight, but no I haven't," he said and I saw Gena rolled her eyes. She's our DD and had to stay sober.

"Next time I'm not so stupid and be the DD," she complained.

"Honey, next time I'll drive you wherever you want" I said and then I heard it. "Oh my Gosh, that was Val, I looooove her!" I wasn't sure if they could understand me. "So last girly action for a long time!" And with these words I disappeared and heard chuckles behind me and then a groaning, as they recognized the song.

"Stop this shit!" I heard someone scream. And then I saw Val and screamed for her. "Didn't know you've the LP," I told her.

"Oh yes, but it's hidden all the time as I know Matt would ditch it, if he ever gonna find Justin."

"Shut this thing up, this isn't even music," someone screamed again.

"Wait, let it play. I'm sure, we'll get a show right now," I heard a calmer voice. "Where's your twin?" I asked and looked around to see Michelle. But I only saw the males in one row. It was pretty closely in the big living room by now.

"I'm here, I'm here," I heard the person I searched for yelling and soon she stand at our side, next to the equipment. "I really wanted to hear Sexy Back," she said and Val put on that song.

I took some steps back and waved the two women nearer. They followed me and soon we were dancing in the middle of the room. Some women followed us, but the three of us were the middle of the attention as we danced lascivious. "Someone has to record this!" I heard someone saying over the music.

"Already have, man. Already have!"

"Think they'll regret it tomorrow," I heard Gena saying as I shoved my ass right to Val's hips. As soon as the song was over there was metal again.

"And I think I'll defiantly need a cold shower!" Johnny disappeared and I laughed my ass off.

The crowd lightened and I saw Matt's arm around my wrist. "Come here, drunken one," he said smiling and as I looked for his wife and her sister I couldn't see them. Matt carried me halfway to the couch and I sat down beside him and rested my head on his shoulder. "So, you'll have a big hangover tomorrow," he said and ruffled my hair.

"Think so," I said dizzy. Suddenly I didn't feel so good anymore. It was like the world began to spin. Matt seemed to notice my transition and mumbled something about finding Gena so she could bring me home.

"No, just let me go and get some fresh air, I swear I'm back in ten minutes."

"Don't throw up on Val's flower bed!" He said before I was out of hearing.

"So, here's a little drink for you," I heard Zacky saying behind me and I made a noise like I was throwing up. I heard him laughing. "Actually it's just some fruit juice. Trust me, it'll work."

I took a sip from the glass and noticed that the deckchair I was sitting on just got a bit down, as Zacky sat down next to me.

"I'm really sorry for the last days," I said again.

"Forgive and forgot. I have to say I'm sorry, too. It wasn't the nice way we acted."

"Forgive and forgot," I echoed him.

"You know, it's just like you're really part of our little crazy family alright. Not just the band, also the girls accepted you so fast, it's weird. And the guy you'll pick has to be accepted by us. You picked us, so you have to live with that." I was taking another sip, when he said his next sentence and I almost spilled it out again. "So, I'm excited to meet Colin!"

"Maybe after tour," I said as I didn't know what to reply.

"Yeah, while we're at it. You're excited?" He changed the subject.

"Sure I am. And a bit afraid, but I think that's normal. I'm more excited about you meeting my family at the moment. Then I'll have a week to piss my pants 'cause of the tour."

"Actually I'm really excited 'bout meeting your niece. You talk so much 'bout her and Johnny said she was really sweet on the phone and had him make this promise."

"What promise?"

"Something 'bout looking after you and if you're lonely in the night he should be there and share the bed with you, 'cause she was too far away," he said and chuckled.

"Yeah, really sounds like her." He pulled out his cigarette packet and I stool one cigarette from him, took his lighter and lit it.

"You know, smoking is unhealthy," he said and took one deep breath.

"Right one to say," I pushed my elbow into his ribs.

"Ouch, that hurts," he said and held dramatically his side.

"Pussy," I just said.

"So, your ten minutes are over," I heard Matt saying and then the cigarette was out of my hand. "God, they're so bad influence. Don't start smoking," he said serious.

"That's exactly what I told the kid," Zacky concurred.

"Why I'm actually here, Gena is driving you home."

"Yes, Daddy. Night, Zacky I have to go home now, it's late," I said in a childish voice and put a kiss on Zacky's cheek as he pulled me into a hug.

"Sleep well, little girl," he said. So we said goodbye to everyone and my head was way clearer when I sat next to Gena, Johnny on the back seat with his presents.

"I hope you'll have a ton of aspirin at your home, you'll two need it damn much. You look terrible."

"We do, thanks, honey."

"I'm just honest."

"As I said, thanks."

"Never be the DD again, it isn't much fun being around you and being the only one who's sober."

"But I'm the birthday boy, I couldn't be sober," we heard Johnny from behind.

"You'll never be sober again in your life," Gena murmured and I grinned. "So we're here. I'll help you with your presents."

When we were upstairs and all the presents were stored Gena said goodbye with a deep sigh as she remembered there were just a couple of people she had to drive home also. So it was just me and Johnny on the corridor. My feet hurt so much; I lift an leg and tried to get off my shoe, but couldn't hold my balance and Johnny grabbed my arm before I could fell.

"Thanks," I said after pulling out both of my shoes. He was really close to me so I lend forwards until our lips connected lightly and pulled away afterwards. It was just a sweet, innocent kiss, but he looked confused. "Good night, birthday boy," I said and disappeared into my room.

Slowly I opened my eyes. And then I started sprinting, stepped over my dress which laid on my floor and headed to the bathroom and for the very first time I was glad the toilet seat was fold up. So I hugged the toilet bowl and forgot about time. I was about to go back to bed as the next wave came. I was dozing off while my head rested on the pottery.

"You're going to sit here the whole day?" I heard Johnny say. I opened my eyes and could only see a figure in the doorway.

"Actually I don't know if there's anything I could throw up anymore, but I hedge one's bets." I said.

"So what if I need the bathroom?"

"Well search for another," I said and put my head back on the cool ceramic. He laughed silently. But soon I couldn't feel my legs anymore and they started to prickle as I stand on my legs again. It took me another minute, before I could walk outside.

"What about a day in bed?" Johnny greeted me with a bubbled glass in the hand.

"That would be perfect, I think," I said and headed to my room, but Johnny grabbed my arm and shoved me into his room.

"Coffee?" he asked but I shook my head so fast I regret it immediately. The world was turning again and I made my way to the bath again, but it was false alarm.

"Hadn't have much hangovers, have you?" Johnny asked as I sat down on his bed and let me fall.

"Not in the last year. Actually I think I had my last one when I was seventeen."

"I'm used to it," he left the room and came back with some toast and handed it to me. He just lit a cigarette and the smoke filled the air. I searched for the zapper and turned on the music channel while I nibbled on my bread.

"Oh my gosh that's you," I said excited and turned on the volume as the Seize the day video began. I really love this song it's absolute one of my favorites!

"You have a part in the video?" I asked as I barely could see my roommate. Even Val was more seen.

"Yes, I was the driver. See there I am."

"Oh yeah, there was some of your hair," I said sarcastically.

"That's a very important part," he said.

"Yeah and you let Matt going alone into jell, good friend you're."

"Well, it's just a video," he shrugged it off. I leaned over him and took his flug. "Since when do you smoke?" he asked.

"Think I got used to as you all smoke around me."

"It's not good for you," he just said and I decided not to respond.

The next video which was shown was 'Bright Lights' from Placebo and Johnny took the zappy and switched the channel. "Hey, I wanted to see this," I pouted.

"Why?" he asked confused.

"'cause I like this song and the drummer is pretty hot. And shirtless," I added and stole the zapper from him so I could watch the men while stagy groaned.

I was about dozing off, as I had to jump up and finding my way to the bath again. This is going to be an awesome day!


	8. Chapter 8

_This time there's a song for this chapter -** Scars** by **Papa Roach**_

_It's kind of perfect for this chapter which contains some kind of drama. This is also the first time that I switched the POV - so you can read what Matt is thinking at the end of the chapter :)_

"So, do you see them?" Johnny asked me and blocked my view of the crowd.

"No, way too much people here." We were playing in Sacramento – my home town – and my dad promised he and Kelly would be here and see me play. Cassie had cried and begged, but this wasn't a place for a three year old kid.

When it was pretty hot I pulled out my brand new Vengeance shirt and Zacky yelled his typical quote about a little striptease of mine. That was the point I saw my dad – he was laughing the loudest. I waved and then the next song needed my attention.

After the show I just pulled on the hoodie Mike – one of the Roadies – gave me. Then we had to wait, 'til everything was loaded. Dad and Kelly were already on the way home, we should join later. I wanted to show my family my new family – and the other way round. We came here with the big tour bus. We hadn't have to come here with it, but as there was only one guestroom at my parents house (it's a big house, but there are also Kelly's, Cassie's and my room which were occupied) and we would be there extremely late, so we decided to sleep in the bus and they would get to know my whole family on the other day. Val was also one of the party – you rarely see her and Matt separate.

"So, can we?" I asked excited and the boys teased me as they joined me in this huge vehicle. I put on the audio equipment and started to sing along with Jacoby.

"I know, why I'm the singer of the band," Matt murmured but wasn't really mad. Actually I loved this bus! When you entered it there was the driver seat with some seats behind him, a little bathroom, a small kitchen unit and a huge seating area on the end of the bus. If you went upstairs you could get to the bunks and the stabling zone. The windows were obscured, but from the inside you could see everything on the outside.

We heard the driver scream that the streets were too small, but that couldn't temper my delight. I trusted him and was so excited for seeing my family. "We're finally here, which house is it?" I heard the driver and went to him, so I could show it to him. I saw some of the neighbor who came outside and watched the big vehicle parking. Soon my dad was also there and I couldn't wait for the door to open.

"She looks like a little kid on Christmas Eve," Zacky laughed as I started to leap for joy. Finally the door opened slowly and I run outside and hugged my father like I haven't seen him in years.

"I'm so proud of you, kiddo," he said, while I hugged him and promised him I had missed him.

"Aunt Kimie," I heard a voice and released my dad. My little niece was running towards me covered in a long Barbie nightgown and bare food.

"Honey Bee, you should be in dream land by now," I said as she hadn't reached me. "And what are you doin' here outside without any shoes?" I needed to take her to task. "You want to get sick?" I raised her and her little cute hands embraced my neck and she started to put some sweet kisses on my face. "I missed you soooooo much," she promised and I kissed her myself.

"That's so sweet," I heard Val behind me and turned around to see my band mates who looked a little bit lost here.

"Who's Johnny?" Cassie asked me. She tried to whisper but it was still loud.

"I'll show you inside. It's cold here so we have to bring you inside. Then I'll introduce you." I told them to follow me and carried the little one until we were inside.

"Cassie, why you're still up?" I heard my sister asking.

"I waited for Aunt Kimie, Mommy," she answered and hid behind me.

"I'll bring her immediately to bed," I promised and opened my arms, so my sister could hug me. It was just a brief hug, but I always had the best relationship with my dad in this family. Then I saw my mom and she hugged me too.

"So now we're all here and I know little one wouldn't sleep until she knew every name of you," I started the introduction. "That's my Mom Karen, my twin Kelly, you know my Dad Ethan and the littl' girl hiding behind me is Cassie." I took a breath and went on. "And these are Matt and his wife Val, Zacky, Syn and Johnny." They waved as I mentioned their names.

"What's Syn for a name?" My dad asked.

"Actually it's my stage name, sir, but your daughter refuses to call me Brian," Syn explained.

"Well I see. And don't call me sir, Ethan is fine."

"So, I'll take you to bed," I said and looked down at the yawning girl.

"But I'm not tired at all," she said.

"Sure you're. You have enough time tomorrow to get to know them."

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"Saw this huge bus out there?" Johnny asked and she nodded. "We're going to sleep there."

"I want to sleep there, too."

"Then let her sleep there," my dad said and I shoot him a surprising glace. Actually, he's not so… yeah, I couldn't really describe it, but he looked real tired. "We're also going to bed."

"Get your bunny and your slippers," I told Cassie and she disappeared.

"See you tomorrow, kiddo," My dad said, kissed my forehead and disappeared. Something was wrong, I knew it. My sister waved and Mom told me we would get breakfast at ten if we wished and followed my dad. That was really strange!

"Can Labelle come with us?" The little girl asked from top of the stairs, but I just shook my head. She slowly walked down, in one hand her fluffy toy, in the other her pillow.

"So come on, think it's better we're soon in the bus."

So we were on our way, when Cassie spoke again. "Mister?" Nobody reacted. "Mister?" she asked again a little bit louder and everyone was staring at her. It seemed she had spoke to Matt and I had to chuckle, as she addressed him firmly.

"You seem pretty strong, you mind caring me?" She asked and put on her puppy smile no one could resist. He held out his hands, but she wanted to be carried on his shoulder, so he got on his knees and Val put her on. His wife carried her things while the girl was happy with her new place.

"Wrapped you around your little finger in one minute, hu?" Zacky grinned.

"She just got him, 'cause she called him mister," Syn supposed.

"Think you have to get down, 'cause the door is too small for us two. Maybe you could sit on Johnny's shoulder…" Matt said and let her down as we finally reached the black bus.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you." She said and looked at me.

"So come, you'll sleep in my bunk. Say goodnight, I'll show you around tomorrow."

"Night," she said and waved at the following men, before she entered the stairs and I led her to my bunk.

"Sleep tight," I said and put a kiss on her mouth. "I'll join you later."

"Good night, Aunt Kimie," she said and cuddled her bunny. I closed the curtain and joined the others who were sitting in the sitting area.

"She's quiet far for her age," Val said as I sat down beside her.

"Yeah, she's already in kindergarten and everything... Maybe she's high talented, we'll see."

"You two seem really close," Syn said and I nodded.

"I was the first one who held her. I was in the labor room with Kelly and at the antenatal exercises and everything," I told them with a wide grin in my face. "So what about a beer?" I asked and they all nodded. I pulled the bottles out of the little fridge and handed them to Val, who gave it the boys. We sat there and talked a bit, but we were all exhausted, so we decided to go to bed. I changed in the bathroom and then I joined my niece, put an arm around her, inhaled her scent and closed my eyes.

"You awake?" A voice asked me and I opened one eye, just to see the little girl in front of me.

"Now I am. What's the matter?" I asked quietly.

"I have to pee," she said and I pushed the curtain to the other side, so we could get out of the bunk.

"Come on and be quiet," I only said and we walked down the stairs, so I could show her the little bathroom. I waited outside and she came back outside and saw the little dog that was running around my feet and started to bark. "Shhhh Peanut, you're waking everyone," I said and opened the door of the bus, so the dog could get outside.

"He's so cute," Cassie said and followed him, as I realized she was barefoot, again.

"You shouldn't walk outside barefoot, Missy," I blamed her.

"But you're too," she said and had a point.

"Only to grab you," I explained and lifted her up. "So come here, Peanut will come soon after us." I just grabbed my things, changed and left the bus with my niece in tow. The dog was inside again, I was afraid what he'd do with the cat. So I entered the house and saw my mom was already up and ran down the kitchen again and again as Cassie left to go to her room.

"Everything fine?" I asked and she shrieked.

"You scared me to hell, Kim. Why are you already up?" she asked me and filled a cup with coffee and handed it me.

"Missy woke me up. What's up here? You all seem a bit… distracted."

"No, everything's fine. We were excited about having you back. So tell me, everything's fine? I was a bit worried about you in a band full of men." So I sat down on the stool and told her something about my new life. Then Kelly entered the room and took my coffee.

"So, little Miss Superstar, what is it like living as a rockstar?" She asked and drank my coffee.

"Not as excited as you might believe."

"So and with whom you have made out?" she asked further.

"What?" I was confused. And actually my name was still Kim not Kelly.

"Hey, there are four good looking men with you in a bus. I know, Val's with Matt, but the others are alone."

"They're not alone they all have a girl at home except of Johnny." She just snorted and told me I was prudish.

"Girls, behave," our Mom interrupted. "So you might wake up your friends, I'll start making breakfast," she added and I nodded in agreement. I walked back, opened the door and yelled "Everyone's getting up, breaaaakfast."

"Don't scream so loud," I heard someone complain.

"Alright, motherfuckers," I yelled again. I played with peanut, while waiting for the first wrinkled faces to show up.

The first one was Syn, followed by Zacky, Matt and Val. "Couldn't wake short shit," Syn said yawning, so I went upstairs and throw him out of the bunk. "Breakfast is ready," I said and walked out of the bus again. I took a look and frowned. This couldn't be him!

"What?" Zacky asked who had run into me.

I started running and screamed "Josh," while the person turned around and looked at me with wide eyes. He opened his arms and I hopped on him. "I missed you," I said.

"I missed you, too. I was at your place yesterday, but you weren't there."

"Since when you're home again?" I asked eagerly. I haven't seen him for two whole years.

"Just visiting Mom and Dad. I heard you're in a band right now. I know you'd make it!" he said, still didn't let me down.

"Yeah, just for a short time."

"I saw you with your niece. Haven't thought you would handle it so cool," he said and let me finally down, so I stood in front of him, staring at his eyes.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"It was shocked, when Bryan had called me and told me he had slept with Kelly and she was getting a baby, the day before he… uhm you know, he died."

"What?" I screamed and took two steps backward.

"You… I… I thought… you'd know this," he stuttered. I turned around, didn't notice anything anymore. I heard something yelling, but couldn't define the words. There was only rustling in my ears and then I started running.

.

**Matt's PoV**

**.**

First she woke us up and now she was stuck at the hips of a guy we didn't knew.

"So, what do you think, who's this?" Johnny asked.

"Don't know, but I think we're going to adept it soon," Val said and stared with us at the two people on the other side of the street. Just then Kim let go of him and took some steps back yelling at him. It seemed she was really upset and that was when I and the other guys took a step forward. I saw the man talked to he, and then she turned around and run.

"Kim... I'm sorry! I thought you knew," he said and soon we were on his side and Brian asked him, what he had told her. Few weeks ago I had told Kim, she was like a sister. And it really felt that way. I was worried why my little sister was running away this fast and didn't take a look right or left.

The man, I think Kay had called him Josh, still didn't answer, so I took another step at his direction - Johnny at my side - and asked him again.

"I thought she knew Cassie was Bryan's kid," he said and we were frozen in movement.

"What?" Val asked and automatically grabbed my hand.

"I really thought she knew, I though Kelly told her…"

"You mean her boyfriend had slept with her twin, while he was in a relationship with Kim?" Johnny asked as he tried to grab the background story.

"We have to find her. I'll tell her Dad and I think… we should find her soon," Val said. She pushed away my hand when she went into the direction of the house. The others followed her like little puppies. God, I love this woman! But not time thinking of that, we really had to find our young thing.

So Val entered the house without knocking or anything and stormed in. She went into direction of the kitchen, where Kelly and her mother were. I thought we all throw daggers at her with our eyes.

"Where's Ethan?" Val asked directly and Karen called for her husband who stood there in one minute.

"What happened?" he asked as he saw our expressions.

"I told Kim about Kelly and Brian," Josh finally said and everybody glared at him.

"What?" The three Aldrins exclaimed.

"You know 'bout that?" Zacky asked unbelievingly at the parents.

"What's happening? Why are you yelling?" Then I saw little Cassie who entered the room.

"Nothing, come on, sweetheart," Kelly said and left the room with her daughter.

"I actually knew it since yesterday, when Josh told me. That's why I couldn't look in my daughter's eyes. I know it would break her heart and… wait, where is she?" Ethan said.

"That's the point. She left without looking left or right," Johnny barged in. "We have to find her."

"Okay, so let me think 'bout it. We should build groups and search for her. The one who'll find her, will call the others," he suggested and we agreed. Some took the cars and I walked by feet. At my side was Zacky and we should look out for the park.

"That's just stupid. I hate this stupid asshole even if he's dead. I know you shouldn't talk bad 'bout dead people, but this motherfucker deserved it," Zacky let off steam and I had to agree.

We searched the whole park, but there was no Kim. We were just about turning back, when I saw the sign. "Think I know where she is," I said and walked along the path.

"Sure, the cemetery," Zacky said and kicked himself in the head. "Right or left?" he asked as we entered the holy place.

"I'll go right, you left, call me if you found her otherwise we'll meet here in thirty minutes."

"Alright, hope we'll find her."

So I went right and searched for Kim. I already walked twenty minutes and was about going back, as I saw somebody under a tree. I was sure it was her, so I dialed Zacky's number, told him I found her and told him he should inform the others.

She looked more horrible then I had imagined. Her eyes were red, her face swollen and her lips were bloody as it seemed she had bitten them. She didn't look at me as I advanced towards her.

"Hey Kay," I said quietly. I sat beside her, put an arm around her shoulder and rubbed her arm.

"Matt? What're doin' here?" I could barely hear her.

"I searched for you. We all do, we were very worried 'bout you," I explained and at this time she hugged me and started crying. I was overcharged so I rubbed her back, pulled her on my lap and swayed back and forth like she was a little child.

"They hated each other. They really hated each other. How could he cheat on me with my own sister? And as if this wasn't enough he got her pregnant. I always thought Cassie looked a bit like Bryan but… he just had passed away… I thought I'd imagined that 'cause I missed him so much," she babbled and I didn't know what I should say. "Matt?"

"Yes, Sweetie?"

"Nobody knows that, but we were engaged."

"What?" I asked shocked and thought I didn't hear right, as she spoke so quiet. This couldn't get any worse!

"It was two days before Kelly told me she got pregnant. I haven't told anyone we wanted to wait for the weekend to tell it everybody, but then he said we should wait with the news. Now I knew why… Why was I so blind? What should I do, Matt? Please tell me… I don't know what to do! I don't know!" She said again and again and I thought she started to hyperventilate.

"Breath in, breath out," I told her and rubbed her back. Then I saw Zacky and he looked like he was about to hit someone.

"I called the others. Ethan will be here and pick us up with the car. How is she?" he asked and sat down on my side and pushed her hair behind her ears, so he could see her face. He really looked shocked and her breath hasn't stabilized yet.

"You know this stupid bastard isn't even worth your tears," he screamed practically at her.

"Zach, we're on a cemetery. Shut your dirty mouth," I reminded him.

"I don't give a shit. Look at her, look what he did to her. And he even hadn't the courage to deal with the shit he made. He even hadn't the fuckin' courage to tell her. I know how he died, Matt. The motherfucker had an overdose! Fluke? I doubt that, he…" he exploded.

"You be little of help, Zach!" I said as I saw that she was about to collapse.

"It's okay, it's okay, Kim. Calm down, breath in, breath out," I told her and then I saw the next thing that would upset her. I saw Kelly running towards us, her dad right behind. "Zach, if you really want to do something that helps her, get her away," I said while pointing at the coming woman.

He walked down the path and I knew he would handle that problem.

"I just want to… go… home," the woman, who used to be so strong, said weakly.

"I'll bring you home, I promise." I picked her up bridal style and hoped I could carry her the whole way. I saw Zacky, who just shooed the woman who looked like Kim and saw a dissolved Ethan who tried to pick up his daughter. But she just pegged more at me so I told him, I would carry her.

Blessedly there were two cars so Ethan opened the door for me and his daughter, so we could drive without seeing one of the person who ruined little girl here. I sat on the backseat, Kay still on my lap and when we arrived I had some difficulties to get out the car, while carrying her.

"Is she okay?" I heard Johnny who stood next to me with a worried expression on his face. As he saw her his fist tightened.

"She just calmed down," I said and saw that he didn't believe a word. I walked towards the big house as she raised her head.

"Matt," she croaked.

"Yes, baby?" I asked and lowered my head a little bit so I could understand her. I wouldn't want to sound rude, but by time she got really heavy.

"You promised to bring me home," she said and her sad red eyes looked directly into mine.

"You're almost here," I said and turned so she could see the house more clearly. Johnny had to took a step away, so her legs wouldn't hit him by this action.

"I meant Huntington. I just want to go home, Matt," she said and started crying again. Where was Val by the way? I looked at Johnny who looked just as desperate as I felt.

"Maybe we should drive home," he said and I groaned as I shifted her weight. "Give her to me," Johnny said and held his hands out. I watched him skeptically, but I couldn't hold her weight much longer. "I wouldn't let her drop down," he said as I took a step forward and handed her him. He struggled a bit, but then he walked towards the bus and I watched.

"Look for my girl, will you?" I heard Ethan saying and I simply nodded. This was one of the craziest days I have ever had and I had some of them as I was friends with The Rev. I saw the next car pulling into the driveway and Zacky jumped outside as soon as the car stopped moving.

"Where's she?" he asked and I nodded into direction of the bus.

"Think if we find Val and Brian we could drive," I said and walked into the bus. I saw Val at the end on the sitting area, Kim's head on her lap, Johnny next to them.

"Think we're all here," I heard Zacky who also entered the living bus and had Brian in tow. "What about her niece?"

"Don't think she wants to see her right now," I mumbled.

"Poor littl' thing," he said and after telling the driver that we would leave now. We joined the silent group at the end of the vehicle and I put Val's hand into mine and squeezed it. Only Kim's sobs broke the silence and Johnny couldn't bear it anymore and pulled her up, hold her face in his hands and looked right into her eyes. "Stop crying 'bout this bastard. Forget 'bout him! You'll have us now, we're your family and we'll never hurt you. So dry your tears and stop crying, 'cause that's no pretty sight."

"Short shit's right," I concurred.

"I love you," she said and looked right at Val.

"We love you too, honey. And it hurts seeing you like this," she said.

"Give me some time," she said and stood up. She barely couldn't stand alone, but then just walked away and headed upstairs. We still could hear her crying and it nearly broke my heart.


	9. Chapter 9

When I woke up I was in my room. It was hard to open my eyes; it felt like they were stuck together with glue. My throat was so dry and my head hurt that much. I rose up and decided not to turn on the lights. I was wearing the clothes I had put on the other morning after waking up. I climbed out of the bed and opened my door. Everything was dark as I walked into the kitchen. I filled a glass with water and took a sip of it while looked at the clock. It was four in the morning.

The air became thicker in the room and I just wanted to get some fresh air. I walked to the main door and took my keys from the commode, grabbed my phone which laid also there and returned to the kitchen to catch my good friend Jack. I saw Peanut and decided I could take a walk with him, realizing he couldn't sleep any longer either. I didn't waste time by looking into the mirror – I knew I was looking bad as I had cried the whole day.

The two of us went down the street and headed left. I wanted to walk to the beach and it took only a quarter till I would arrive. I hadn't even bothered to take the leash but Peanut just walked by feet happily. After we had arrived at the beach I took off my shoes and sat down while the dog ran around. I licked my lips, which were totally bitten. A reason I got my labret some years ago was that I started biting my lips when I got nervous, so I could nipple on the ring instead.

I opened the bottle and took a deep sip watching the dog that was playing with the waves. I didn't want to cry anymore but my thoughts drifted away. I always had the day in mind when Bryan asked me if I want to marry him. I actually wasn't someone who believed in marriage, but I thought he was the love of my life. I was so fuckin' blind! I took another sip and licked my lips again so I wouldn't waist a drip.

Suddenly the dog walked down the beach, he seemed upset. "Peanut," I yelled and whistled loudly. He looked up and walked at my side. He seemed exhausted and laid down at my side. I patted him and watched the waves arriving at the beach.

My phone in my pocket vibrated. I pulled it out and saw Matt's name on the display.

"You okay? Where are you?" he asked as soon as he knew I had answered his call.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm at the beach, I needed to go out."

"Well Johnny is freaking out, 'cause you were not there when he looked after you. He called us all and alarmed us."

"Why didn't he just call me?" I asked confused.

"Think he was too upset to think clear," Matt chuckled. "Whatever, we'll pick you up, don't go away, Missy."

"Matt, it's like five in the morning or so, just go to bed."

"We're soon there."

"Oh, and Matt? Tell Johnny Peanut's on my side."

"Well I don't think he even noticed he's also not there, but I will. See you." I hung up and stared at the ocean again and waited for Johnny and Matt to arrive.

Actually it wasn't just the two of them. I could make out four figures who headed my way.

"If you ever went like that again I'm going to kill you, Kimberley," Johnny shouted as he stood in front of me. He never ever had called me by my full name. "You could have left a message!"

"And you could have called me on my phone before waking everybody," I just said.

"Oh, you're here with my good old friend," Zacky said and sat down next to me and took the bottle. "How are you?"

"Okay," I just said. "Are you just wearing boxers?" I asked and looked at Johnny's direction.

"Well I was a bit upset as I noticed you weren't there anymore and I thought you would... I don't know… maybe doing something stupid or something like that," he said and his hand found his way through his little hair which was falling down on his head, since he haven't done it.

"Why should I do that?" I asked. He just shrugged and sat down on Zacky's other side. "And why are you all here? You should be home with your girls," I said looking at Matt, Syn and Zach.

"Short shit had called us and we were worried and wanted to look if you're okay. So, as I see you have a bottle of good stuff here, I think I'll stay too," Syn said and sat down.

"With you drunken asses it wouldn't last long," I said and took it from Zacky and took a sip before handing it to Syn.

"Well, I'll go grab some stuff. I'll be right back in twenty minutes," Zacky said and left us alone.

"So why did you pick up Peanut?" Johnny asked and picked up the little dog, so he could rest on his lap.

"I needed a protector, so I chose him."

He mumbled something like "could have wakened me". I just smirked and watched again the beautiful sight.

"You couldn't get rid of it," Syn said and I simply nodded.

"Can I ask you something? I have this question in mind since some hours. You think, this was the only time he cheated on me?" while asking I avoided looking at them.

"Actually… I doubt that. I don't know him, but… It's just a feeling, but I doubt that." Syn was the one who actually had spoken after a short break. Actually that was exactly that, was I was thinking too. I let out a sigh and let me fall, so I could now watch the stars.

I heard some bottles rattled and knew Zacky was finally back. "Here, eat something," I heard him saying and felt something on my stomach. I looked up and saw a bag of chips. I wanted to grab the bottle of Jack Daniels, but Zacky hold it out of my reach. "Eat something and you'll get it back."

I just rolled my eyes, opened the bag and ate some of them. The salt on my lips hurt.

"So, you want to talk about it?" Matt asked.

"Don't know what I should say. My fiancé cheated on me with the biggest whore around, got her pregnant and I was the biggest twerp and supported her. I think that hurt the most, 'cause she didn't had the balls to tell me it was his child. But I love the little one and I couldn't be mad at her. What did you tell her?" I asked.

"First you shouldn't name your sister like that and second your mother told her you got sick and had to see the doctor," Matt answered. I was glad they didn't tell her I was mad at my whole family. I was sure, they know it, and otherwise my dad wouldn't have behaved like that.

"So you don't want to talk 'bout it, but you mind telling us how you got to know him? He didn't look like the drummer kid on the photo we saw."

"If you give me the bottle first I'll tell you, Zach," I reached out and Johnny handed me the bottle. "I think I was a kind of a stalker. I was twelve as I walked down the street and heard some cool noises from the garage the house at the other side of the street. So I just walked there and saw my neighbor who was two years older than me, sitting behind the drums. I wanted to learn it and so he taught me. I think I was more obsessed than him and became better after some time. I saved all my money so I could buy my own drums and I could play more often. I became friends with Bryan and his brother Josh. It was always the three of us." I smiled at the memory and circulated the story. "I knew Josh had a crush on me, but I was more interested in his older brother and when he asked me out I was more than happy. So we became a couple and it seemed perfect. But after two years, we fought a lot more and stood aloof from another." I took a huge sip and knew the others were staring at me, waiting for me to continue. "After two weeks without seeing he came to me, apologized and then he said he now knew what he had about me and asked me if I would become his wife. Rest of the story you know," I ended bitterly. "So, but that's the end of the story. That's the past and I won't look back," I said more enthusiastic.

"That's the attitude, kiddo," Zacky said and put an arm around my shoulders. "So, I know, this isn't the right time, but I absolutely need to tell it someone. I'm going to propose on Gena," he said.

"When?" I asked, before someone could say anything.

"On Christmas eve," he said and looked at me.

"I hate you, Zachary," I said and looked strict at him. His eyes wide in shock and I knew he was about to apologize for telling it at this moment. "How will I keep this as a secret the whole time?" I asked and threw myself at him, so we both fell backwards.

"You're really drunk, are you?" Zacky laughed.

"Yep," I said and popped the P. "And I'm soo excited."

"You think, she'll say yes?" he asked a bit worried.

"Sure she will," Matt answered the question and lift me up. I couldn't stand on my own, so I grabbed the squashed bag of chips which laid now on Zacky and sat down next to Johnny.

"So, Zacky will be engaged soon, that just leaves the two of us," I said and handed him the bottle.

"You want to change that?" he asked. I could hear Matt and Syn talking to Zacky.

"After all the shit I heard today I think I'm happier alone. They all found their mates, they're happy, but I think it's better for me to stay on my own for a while."

"It wasn't always like this with Gena and Zacky. They had an on- off relationship. But after a while they realized they needed each other," he said and it sounded like he had thought about it for a while.

"Actually I feel like the loser of the year," I said with chips in my mouth.

"Thanks for joining the club," he said sarcastic and cleared the bottle. "Hey happy man, we need more stuff here," Johnny yelled at Zacky who gave him a bottle 40's.

"Hey Kay," he said after a while of silence.

"Mhm," I just made to show him I was listening.

"I really was worried 'bout you. I didn't know what you would do at five in the morning," he said and I felt guilty for leaving without a note.

"Won't happen again!" I promised.

"Otherwise I'll kill you, when I find you," he said with a smirk on the face. I put my head on his shoulder and we watched the rising sun.

-x-

We were on tour for almost a month. I really love these guys but it's hard to live with them in a small bus. I also love the bus, but with this small bathroom and Brian – who actually need more time in there then us together – it was horrible. Yes, I started to call him Brian. There was no need to call him Syn the whole time. But with all that I wouldn't want to change it. It was awesome! The fans were great and I actually had seen a Kay poster which filled me with pride. Soon there will be an interview with us and then we would have a gig.

I went outside of our room and saw two woman standing on the corridor. It seemed as they were fighting.

"And make sure you don't film Synyster the whole time," I could hear the brunette say. The blonde looked a bit pissed. "And you make sure you don't forget your questions, while you're all drooling over Shadows," she spat back. I had to giggle and because of that they saw me and blushed a little. That must have been the interviewer for today and her camera woman.

"Well I just take two minutes and visit the powder room, think we can start then," I said and they just nodded. After I came back the two of them were standing on the same spot I left them.

"Come on, we won't bite," I said and opened the door. "Guys, ready for the interview?" I asked and took a seat on a chair next to the wardrobe. The two women soon followed me and there was no shyness anymore. It seemed like they were in business mode now.

"Hey, I'm Flo and this is Nina, my camera woman. I'm doing the interview with you today. I'm trying to keep it short, so there's enough time for you to brace yourself for your gig."

"Think you'll take a seat and is it okay for you guys, if you would share the settee, so I could film you _all_the whole time," she said and pronounced the all and I had to giggle.

"Sure, no problem," Brian said and he sat down on the backrest and I joined him, so Matt, Johnny and Zacky could sit on the front. The interviewer took place on the chair next to the seat. "There will be just some question 'bout your tour and fans, stuff like that. Nothing really personal, except you want to tell something like that," she said and I saw that she looked the whole time at Matt. Really, if anyone of these guys had the most women falling for him, it would definitely be Matt, closely followed by Brian I think.

"So you're ready?" she asked and we nodded in union.

"Me, too," the blonde said and I saw a red light blinking on the camera, which covered most of her face.

"Hey, today I'm up with Avenged Sevenfold right before their show in El Paso. So you guys have been touring for almost a month, what's up next on your plan?" Flo asked and Matt decided to answer the question.

"We have four more concerts and then we're heading home for Christmas to celebrate it with our families. Right after New Year we'll continue this tour."

"The last year, you have been gone through a lot of trouble with The Rev passing away and finding a new drummer. Can we expect a new album?"

This time Zacky took the mic and talked about that it was hard to decide if they would go on, but the fans were so approaching and told them they should carry on. He also told, that after ending the tour, we'll write on new stuff.

"Kay, how is it to be the only woman in this band?"

Zacky handed me the mic. "Well what should it be like? I knew right from the start that these guys were not the normal people you know, but I think I'm also not normal. We come along pretty well, except from living in the bus," I said.

"What do you mean?" Flo asked interested and leaned forward.

"It's hard to live with five men in a small bus." She smiled and I would guess she imagined how it would be if she would live there with them.

"I see," she said. "So, you say you love your fans, but we all want to know what the craziest fan experience you've ever made was?"

I saw the smirks on the guys face. Brian grabbed the mic this time. "Well Zacky and I were at a bar after a gig and had some shoots. So a fan came and asked if she could take a picture with us. We made a pic and after that I heard a click, saw Zacky's face and then I looked at his wrist. The girl had some handcuffs and he was stuck to her for some hours since she wouldn't want to tell where the keys were and they had to open it using a saw."

"One of my worst nights of my life," Zacky said.

She chuckled a bit and I laughed out loud before she started the next question.

"So, your show starts soon, how do you warm up?"

As Brian had the mic in his hands he answered this question too. "Shadz, Zacky, Kay and I use to make pushups, while Johnny just watches."

"Well I just got warm by watching you sweat," Johnny said and brought us to laugh.

"So, we'll be a little bit more backstage and of course we'll be there for the big concert," Flo said into the camera and then the light stopped blinking. Just at this moment our coordinator entered the room and told us there were thirty minutes left. I really liked her. She was some kind of a dam and asked all the time if we needed something.

"You need anything?" Anja asked. I don't know where she came from but she was definitely not an American because of her accent.

"No, thanks," I said and rose to grab a bottle of energy drink from the table.

"You mind if we film your warming up?" The blonde, actually I had forgotten her name, asked. The guys told her it was no problem and I took my clothes and left the room so I could change. When I came back I grabbed my iPod and waited till Syn and the others came back changed.

"You think you'll get thirty this time?" he asked me with a smirk on his face. I may not be so well built and didn't have his pack of muscles but it wasn't as if I didn't get some pushups.

"Sure, you think you'll get it?" I teased him and soon we were both on the ground and did some pushups.

"What 'bout doing it with only on arm?" he asked.

"Tinhorn," I mumbled. I know he just did it because the woman were in the room and filmed it probably.

"Okay guys, I'll bring you to the stage," Anja said and we rose and followed her through the door, the interviewer still in tow. And I was pretty sure the three women would stand next to the stage and admire the guys. I knew our coordinator had a soft spot for a muscular singer and his dimple smile. I was pretty excited 'bout the show – I think this feeling won't go away ever.


	10. Chapter 10

„You sure you don't want to come with me?" Johnny asked the fourth time.

"As I said the other three times: No, thank you, I'm fine." I tried to smile.

"But it's Christmas, you shouldn't be here on your own," he tried again.

"And I don't want to bother your family with my presence. Now go or you'll be late. We'll see us at the Harner's place."

"If you say so," he leaned forward and kissed my cheek before leaving the apartment. That left me and Peanut. It was Christmas and everyone was celebrating with their beloved ones. Val with Matt, Brian with Michelle and Zacky with Gena. He said he would call me and tell me about her decision, but I knew she would accept his proposal and they were too busy to call. Johnny would stay at his family's place tonight. Tomorrow they'll all celebrate with their families and on the second day of Christmas Papa Gates invited all of us.

That just left me. I was still mad at my family and I couldn't bear it to be around them. I still miss Cassie and I was sad that I couldn't be with her on these days.

I starred at the packet which stood in the corner of the room. We had arrived late that evening yesterday and it was too late to ship Cassie's present so it would arrive punctual.

There was no Christmas tree, no decoration but I was fine with it. I went to the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed a beer and the meat and started making dinner. I was no good cook so it was just chicken and salad. I went back to the living room with my meal in one hand, sat down and started watching some DVDs and began with 'Pulp Fiction'.

When the closing credits came I stood up and took the dog leash. After yelling for the dog I took a walk with him and promised I would give him his presents when we were back home. I had bought him a new dog collar and a big bone, which was way too big for this little pet. I knew I would go straight to bed after that. I wasn't in the mood for a long stay up.

The next morning I woke up at nine o' clock – way too early. I started the day with a makeover – long shower, new nail polish, a face pack and so on.

After that I was bored and decided to stop at the studio. I pulled on my usual clothes, took a cereal bar and left the apartment. The studio seemed abandoned without someone laughing or playing their instruments. My mood lightened up as I saw some drums. I knew it weren't mine. First because they were black, second mine were still at the transporter where all instruments were and third: There were some more drums I didn't own.

I don't know why, but immediately I knew which drums these were. Awed I swept over the shiny ride cymbal.

"Why are you here?" I asked Jimmy's drums as if I expected an answer. I didn't know if it was the right thing but I sat down behind the drums, picked my sticks and let every single drum show their sound.

Before I even recognized it I played 'Fiction'. I even sang along. Maybe it was just daydreaming but it felt like it was perfect. This was utterly Jimmy's song, here was his instrument and it was like he was playing not me. Weird!

I played some of our songs and then I grabbed my iPod and played along to the songs which came on shuffle. I couldn't hear anything but I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket.

"What's up, Zacky?" I asked.

"Merry Christmas to you too, lovely Kim." He said. "I forgot to call you earlier."

"I told you so," I said with a big grin on my face.

"You don't want to know what she responded?" he asked sadly.

"So, what did she said? I would love to? I waited the whole time for you to propose?"

"Something like that," he admitted.

"Congratulations," I said and I meant it with all of my heart.

"Thanks, hon. What you're doin' by the way? I heard Johnny's at his mother's place."

I felt a bit guilty. "Actually I'm at the studio," I admitted.

"Practicing? At Christmas?" I could hear his reproaches.

"No, just for fun. Actually my drums are still at the transporter and here stood some, so I just used them. I hope that was okay," I said while nibbling at my lip ring.

"We knew you would come to play, so we asked Larry if he could manage that Jimmy's were up there."

"Well, thanks. I guess you know me too well."

I heard him laugh. "You love them, right?"

"Absolutely," I said within a second.

"So, I'm going back. We'll see us tomorrow." We said goodbye and then it was just me again. I thought I would be glad to be on my own again after a month of touring, but I wasn't. I don't know how long I stayed there, just barely touching the valuable thing in front of me.

"Merry Christmas, Jimmy," I whispered without thinking and left the studio behind.

-x-

Before I could knock at the door – really, they never lock their houses here and come in whenever they want – the door was opened. McKenna, Brian's younger sister, greeted me. "Hey Kay, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you, too," I said and with a look at all the presents on my arms and she told me I could drop them under the tree in the living room.

"I'll say hi after dropping these," I said after seeing some people from the corner of my eye. I followed the blinking lights in front of me and squeezed the presents to the others.

"So, who's first?" I asked with a smirk on my face and opened my arms.

"Meeeee," Papa Gates screamed and ran towards me. I chuckled as I hugged him and thanked him for inviting me.

"You're kidding? The whole family comes, so why not inviting my newest daughter?"

After him I greeted Val, Michelle and her husband. I felt completely underdressed by now. They all wore dresses and I just wore simple black leggings and a big grey sweater.

"Congrats, beautiful," I said when I hugged Gena.

"You already knew? I wanted to be the one who tells you the news," she said and looked like someone had died.

"Well, Zacky anticipate 'bout a month ago," I told her and her eyes wide in shock.

"So you knew the whole time and didn't tell me anything?"

"Well, that were exactly her words when I told her," her fiancé said and put an arm around her shoulder.

"Aw, you're too cute," I said and needed to hug them both. "So, where's Matt?" I asked and looked around. "And Johnny?"

"They just pick something …," he couldn't finish his sentence, because I interrupted with a "Peanut".

"Where is he?" he asked and both looked on the ground and expected to see the dog peeing at the tree or something like that.

"He's still in my car," I explained.

"Happens all the time with Johnny," Zacky said and reached for the keys to grab the dog.

"So, what's up with Majesty? She stole all of Icky's food?" I asked and kneeled down to pat the dog with the swollen belly.

"No, she's pregnant, you dummy."

"Aw, you'll have wonderful little puppies. Think it's a Christmas with surprises."

"Would bet on it," Gena smirked. We talked a bit more about the puppies, the proposal and so on. I was a bit sad, that they would sell all the little ones but they couldn't keep it of course.

Time went by and then Suzy, Brian's stepmom, told they couldn't wait any longer or the food would get cold. So we started eating and I wondered where the hell Johnny and Matt were. How could they miss such a wonderful meal?

The answer came bout fifteen minutes later. "Hope, there's enough food for us and the youngest Avenged fan," I heard Matt yelling. I turned my head and couldn't believe my eyes. There stood Matt with his dimple smile starring at me but my eyes laid on Johnny who had this little blonde girl in his arms. I rose up and walked as fast as I could. Probably my chair fell backwards, but I didn't pay attention. He handed me my niece and I squeezed her hadn't seen her in ages.

"What are you doin' here?" I asked and buried my face in her curly hair.

"Celebrating Christmas with you, you dummy," she answered and chuckles interrupted her sentence. Why did everybody call me that today?

"I'm glad you're here!" I placed my lips on her small ones. "How long will you stay?"

"Till tomorrow," Johnny answered.

"We're going on vacation," Cassie's high voice continued.

"Tell me everything," I said while carrying her to the bathroom so she could wash her hands. "And what are you wearing here?" I asked and pulled on her T-Shirt.

"I got it from Santa. I wished I had one so I could show everyone my aunt is famous." She's so cute! And this was the tiniest A7x shirt I had ever seen.

I introduced her to the others at the table when we went back. I had to keep Cassie from stealing from the table so she could play with the dogs. Matt told me he and Johnny had met my father and picked up Cassie because they knew I had missed her like hell. While I helped Suzy with the dishes Gena and Val were all over the little girl, who ran after Pinkly. After everything was cleared we met by the tree. There wasn't enough room for everyone so I ended on Johnny's lap while Cassie, McKenna and Papa Gates sat on the floor.

"I want mine first," the old man said eagerly and sucked worse than the girls.

"Then you'll get mine first," I stood up and dispensed my presents. Johnny had also brought the packet for my niece. The most excited were Papa Gates who got a pair of fish-slippers, McKenna who got the new 'Eclipse' DVD and Cassie got a medallion with a picture of us and some new Barbie's.

"For whom is the biggest present here? As I see a big K on it I guess it's for Kim." He handed me the big box.

"Don't open it here," Johnny murmured in my ear.

"Why not?" I asked and looked at him. He pointed towards Cassie with his head. "So I should open it in another room?"

"I would prefer at home." But I was way too curious so I left the room and heard the guys laughing. When I reached the kitchen I opened first the envelope.

'So you don't have to take care of yourself anymore' – It was signed by the boys.

I opened the box and saw some colored things. "No fucking way!" I screamed and then had to laugh.

"You sad a bad word, Aunt Kimmie," I heard Cassie complain.

"I'm sorry, won't happen again," I screamed back. I looked in the packet again. Think I shouldn't have told the guys.

_One evening I was sitting in the bus, the guys on my side. "We're just three weeks on tour and my balls are ready to explode! How do you bear it three fucking years?" Brian asked in my direction. _

"_Oh, boys, it's not like I couldn't take care of myself," I had said with a serious face. They looked a bit shocked that I spoke boldly. _

"_You think you would show us?" Matt asked._

"_Keep on dreaming," were my last words for the night. _

"What is inside of it?" Val who stood in the doorway asked.

"Take a look," I said innocently.

"Dildos and vibrators?" She asked quietly. "They're way beyond to help."

"Think I'll pack this in my trunk, before … anybody sees them."

"When you come back, just play along, will you?" she asked quietly before I left the room.

"Ouh Kim, I was wondering if it'll be okay if we make it on Wednesday. I know Matt was always been exhausted when he came back after recording a song."

"Sounds fine to me," I said and sat the little kid on my lap. I saw Johnny cheering. "Oh and Johnny can go over to Matt, so we have one's peace." His face fell and I knew exactly what she was talking about. And yeah, you heard right: Val had said recording. We should record a song for 'Call of Duty'. We were a bit pressed for time because the tour will go on and that left something about a week. But we were working on it before. I was very excited, but now my niece needed my attention.

"You'll show me your work, won't you?"

"I'll show you around tomorrow," I promised her.

"And tonight we'll stay up late and watch 'The little Mermaid' and you drink cacao and…"

"Anything you want," I said and stopped her from babbling with a kiss. "Maybe Johnny is so kind and brings the TV in my room if you ask nicely," I mumbled in her ear.

"I'll ask later," she said loudly. "Kimmie? You know what I like?" She scrambled from my lap and walked towards Zacky. She started on getting on his legs this times and he helped her. With a concentrate expression on her little face she scrutinized his arms.

"These ones," she said finally and pointed at his leopards tattoo.

"So you like tattoos?" he asked.

She shrugged with her tiny shoulders. "Some are creepy," she said and pointed at another one. "You should have all of these dots, then you'd be an animal." She made some animal noises and we all laughed.

"What about watching a DVD?" McKenna suddenly asked and waved with her brand new DVD in front of our faces.

"I'm not going to watch some of this shit again. Edward wouldn't get in her pants so why watching?" Brian complained.

"Gates," I rebuked him.

"What's with pants?" Cassie asked and looked at hers.

"Nothing, sweetheart," Michelle answered and gave her husband an evil glare.

Not long after that I decided to leave. Cassie was getting tired and I just wanted to spend some more time with her. We said our goodbyes and I had to urge Cassie to thank for the presents she had gotten.

…

The next day was like a blur. The night I had spent in Johnny's bed with Cassie, because he had no intention to shift the tube into my room. He had said we could sleep in his bed and so we had watched the Disney Movie. It didn't take long for Cassie to fell asleep and she snorted a bit. It's something she usually didn't do unless she was sick. She had sneezed sometimes that day but that's it. At that point I hadn't known she just had passed the flu. So I had always taken a kiss from her whenever I could get one.

I had shown her the studio and she had forced Zacky to play something for her. It had hurt Brian's ego, but she was dotty about Zacky. That day had passed too soon and I had put ones pride in one's pocket and went to drop her at my dad's hotel. He had stayed there and we didn't say that much as Cassie was around us. I had hugged him when I said goodbye and told him I was okay with that. I had come home and Johnny told me he was leaving. I had known the guys would meet and that they would go to the cemetery. The day after would be Jimmy's obit and Brian had told me they would sneak on the cemetery at twelve o'clock.

I knew this wasn't my place and nobody had asked me either. So I had given Johnny a smile and went soon to bed. Tomorrow would start the recording. I had the feeling this wouldn't be their best day but we had to work as there was so little time. I had a bit headache and my leads became heavy so I had passed out soon.

When I woke up I felt worse. My alarm wouldn't stop until I hit that stupid thing. My throat hurt like I hadn't drunk something for weeks. The headache had become worse and as I got out of bed the world started spinning for a while until I closed my eyes.

"Whoa, you look like hell," Johnny greeted me as he left the bathroom in a towel. For a moment my eyes were stuck at his chest. Jimmy's deathbat caught my eye.

"Well, fuck you," I said. If I have to be correct I only moved my lips but no words escaped my lips.

"What? Has Peanut eaten your tongue?" he asked playfully. Childish as I was I stuck my tongue out at him. "No, still there, so why are you voiceless?" He came towards me and put a hand on my forehead. "Pretty hot up there."

I wanted to tell him I just need 20 minutes, 'cause there was no way I would stay at home. As I couldn't say anything I just left for the bathroom. I didn't want to wash my hair and tried to get out of the bathroom as soon as I could. I didn't had any intention of using make up, I even refused to take a look in the mirror. I knew I would look horrible and so I left the bathroom with a towel, headed into my room, put on some fresh clothes and went to the bathroom again. I hoped there would be some medicine. I crossed Johnny who stood in the living room and sniffed at a shirt which had laid on the floor. He shrugged his shoulders and put it on. With whom do I live, I asked myself.

"You ready?" he asked and I just nodded. "This will be a funny day," he chuckled and I rolled my eyes. This is going to be a very long, unpleased day! Johnny drove and as funny as he was he had thrown a scarf around my neck and had pulled it over my mouth, so I couldn't infect him.

When we arrived at the studio Johnny was geniality and I had spleen. I felt like throwing up, but I haven't eaten anything so there wasn't anything that would come backwards. I was freezing and I wore a T-Shirt with a big pullover over it, only tracksuit pants and some shoes which I couldn't even describe. I pulled off the scarf, I couldn't even breathe under it.

"This is going to be a quiet day," Johnny yelled. He knew how to push my buttons. I shoved past him and sat down on the couch and closed my eyes. I hadn't even looked around.

"What's wrong with her?" I heard Matt ask.

"She's sick. She has got fever and actually she couldn't talk," Johnny answered and was a bit more serious.

"You think you can handle the day?" I heard someone beside me ask and opened my eyes to see Larry who sat next to me with a worried expression.

I nodded wildly and regret it automatically.

"Well let me introduce you to the important persons," he said and I greeted the producer and mixer. They told me they would record all of us together playing the song. It mustn't be perfect it was just for us. So when we had that it was my turn. I could hear the recording in my ear for orientation and then I had to play along. I nodded in agreement. The last one who came were Brian and Zacky. Actually I thought they would be depressed or something, but they all had a smile on their faces. They looked like they hadn't had much sleep but seemed happy.

Whatever happened last night it couldn't be bad. I just wanted this day to end but it hadn't even begun. I opened the door where the instruments already stood and opened my mouth to tell the guys they should move there asses but of course they couldn't hear me just some cawing.

"This is going to be fun," Zacky repeated Johnny's earlier sentence and hold his camera in my face. This will be only fun for them.


	11. Chapter 11

**I had (again) some problems with this site so I couldn't post yesterday. I just wanted to warn you, that this chapter contains _sexual scenes. _And now I hope you'll enjoy this chapter :)**

I was sitting on the couch, my head rested on Johnny's chest. We just came back from tour – only for two weeks. Then we had some more gigs in Europe. Two days ago was my birthday and I was in a club with my guys. It was nothing special, but the girls wanted to celebrate it too. As I wanted no big party there will be only a little barbeque for our little group and the Berry Brothers. I love both of them, they're pretty cool. So we decided we should meet tomorrow as we just came home today and everyone wants to spend the night with their girl.

Left me and Johnny. We laid on the couch and he had an arm around my torso. Our bags laid where we left them. We watched a horror movie. I wasn't a big fan – to be honest I think they're kind of boring and pointless. But Johnny loved them so I didn't say anything. I just didn't want to spend the evening alone. I had closed my eyes and felt Johnny's warm breath on my neck. His thumb made his way down my arm and I was sure he felt the chills he gave me.

Jesus Christ, did I felt attractive to this man right now? I know it was stupid as we were in the same band. But it felt right – it felt good. Sure I had the boys on tour, we hugged and when we sat near to each other sometimes I had my head on Matt's shoulder or something like that. But I was kind of lonely. See the guys saw me as their little sister – I was glad they did this and I didn't want to change this, but there were some times I wish I would be recognized as a woman by someone. But I was in a band, we were on tour for months and there was no time for someone who cared for me. So I just enjoyed this contact and snuggled closer to him.

I felt a low pressure on my head and I wasn't sure if I was right with the hunch that Johnny had just kissed my head. I ignored it and opened my eyes to stare at the screen. There were a couple of people who got killed right at the moment and I felt his chuckle as his stomach shook. My glance wandered from the screen to his arms which still hold me. With one fingernail I draw the contours of some of his tattoos. I wasn't a friend of these tattoos, but I had to admit the guy who had stabbed it did a great job. And somehow it was perfect for my roommate. This time I was the one who gave him goose bumps and I had to restrain a smile on my lips.

I felt his hot breath on my nape. This time I was 100% sure that his lips brushed my naked skin. I was wearing some pants I only wore at home and a strapless top. My body begged for attention – and it wasn't disappointed when I felt some kisses which were placed from my nape to my neck. My body prickled and it felt cold except for the places where his breath met my skin. My nails still draw along his arms this time vague patterns.

The kisses on my neck wasn't enough anymore, my lips wanted the courtesy. I turned around and I didn't lift my head. This would mean I had to look in his eyes and I was afraid what I would see. So my eyes were fixed at his lips before mine crashed with his. I didn't know how he would react; it was just a snap move. One hand reached my head and pressed my lips with more fore against his and the other was at my hip and pushed our torsos together.

A quiet moan escaped my lips and a hand of mine went through his hair and grabbed some of it. Concurrently our lips parted and we deepened the kiss. I lifted my leg and put it on the other side of him, so I was sitting on top of in my mind I asked what I was doing here, but I displaced the thought. I was enjoying this way too much to distract me with those thoughts. His hand wasn't anymore at my hip, he had moved it lower so it laid on my ass which was covered by my pants. He squeezed it softly while my nails scrubbed over his chest. His T-shirt started bothering me so I fiddled with the bottom of the piece of cloth. He interrupted the kiss for a short moment to undress the Shirt and before I could ask myself if this was right his lips caught mine again.

Suddenly his hand wasn't anymore outside my pants. This was getting serious – if I wanted to stop this was now the time to say it. But I knew I wouldn't say anything. Johnny was a good looking guy and we were both lonely. We were always surrounded by couples and were always the one who stood alone. This night I didn't want to be alone, I wanted this. As if he had heard my thoughts he moved his head a bit and looked me in the eye. So I grabbed the initiative and moved my head to his neck. My tongue softly stroked his skin and he shivered underneath me. As I was sitting on top of him and he was only wearing some shorts I could tell he was absolutely turned on. I smiled. I was glad to know I could provoke this body reaction of him.

His hand left my ass just to slide in front of my grey pants. I twitched as his cold fingers touched my skin in the private area. He chuckled but his fingers didn't lose their way. I could feel his grin without seeing it when he noticed I was also turned on. I playfully bit in his neck – mostly to cover my moaning. Some say the overture is overrated – well let me say they never had one with a bassist and his talented fingers. At some point I couldn't hold my groaning anymore. Suddenly he let go of me and I thought I did something wrong.

His hands went back to my ass and he straightened himself and I slung my legs around him as he rose. I lowered my head and pressed my lips against his and let my tongue lick around his before I caught his lower lip and sucked at it. He went to his room and dropped me at the edge of the bed before he pulled the top over my head. As I wore no BH he saw directly my breast and he could see that the chills hadn't left my body yet. A hungrily growl escaped his throat before he took of my pants and left me in my hot pants.

I grabbed the bound of his trousers and pulled him at my direction. I wasn't comfortable with him starring at me. It didn't take long for us to take of the last piece of clothing. It was clear from the outset that Johnny had more experience with these things. This didn't mean I hadn't had sex before, but only with one man and I think this is something very different. I could feel his maleness on my thighs and he reached for his bedside cabinet and grabbed a condom. While he was busy with this I had to ask him something important.

"This is just sex, right?" I asked and was afraid to look in his eyes. He put his fingers under my chin and lifted my head so I had to look in his eyes.

"Just sex," he confirmed and kissed the corner of my mouth. "We'll make a deal. We enjoy this night and tomorrow we'll never speak 'bout it again."

"Agreed," I said and hogged his lips. His hand wandered to my breast and he kneaded it. I knew he tried to distract me. His hand wandered down my body right to my sensitive spot. I moaned again and got impatient. Slowly he entered me as he tried not to hurt me. But he tortured me for far too long and I was more than ready. It was unfamiliar after such a long time but it didn't hurt. I nodded and he began to move slowly inside of me. I knew he contained himself and after a few minutes I shifted my weight and his eyes grew wide as he realized I was now on top of him and had the control.

I started to move and this was my way to torture him. I knew this position would please both of us but I took up time until it was enough for him and he grabbed my ass and moved me faster. I leaned forward and a moan came out of my mouth as he pushed harder and he bit my shoulder. I knew there would be marks tomorrow but dash it. We were both sweating and I knew this wouldn't take any longer. I felt some sparks storm through my body and I started to gasp. Johnny turned us around one last time and he supported himself on his left arm while his right hand went to my clit and he massaged my sensitive spot. We both knew I was about to come and I knew he was also close. He accelerated the pace and not long after that my hands grabbed into Johnny's shoulder and my nails grabbed into his flesh. Some noises escaped my mouth but I wasn't even sure what it was. Johnny came right after me and we both remained in this position for a while and wheezed.

He had this cheesy grin in his face as he rolled over me and I was sure I looked exactly like him. I was full of energy now and jumped to my feet just to struggle because the movements were too fast right now.

"Where're you going?" he asked.

"Showering," I answered and left him alone. After I came back from the shower I thought about where to go. I turned off the television and went to my room just to pick a shirt in which I could sleep in. I heard a door closed and assumed it was the bathroom door. After brushing my hair I headed for Johnny's room. I grabbed my clothes and throw them in the clothes hamper before I crawled under the blankets. Johnny came back and joined me.

"Tomorrow we won't never ever talk about it again?" I asked again.

"Never," he answered and slung an arm around me.

"Goodnight," I murmured before I felt asleep in his arms.

-x-

Actually it wasn't like the last night hadn't happen. I had to admit I felt better and Johnny and I hadn't acted strange around. We were okay with it. Johnny and I had picked up Peanut from his mother – well I was waiting inside the car – and then we headed to Zacky. I just wore my usual clothes: ripped off shorts and a band shirt. I wouldn't want to celebrate in the big style just a friendly meet with my missed guys.

We were the first one but before Gena could congratulate I stormed past her and asked where they were. I was searching for the little puppies Majesty had just given birth to. She told me which way to go and soon I disappeared from their sight and ended up in the room where the pets lay.

Gena had to pull me literally out of the room so I could eat with the others who had already arrived.

"Hun, you like it?" Gena asked and sat next to me. I put away the spoon and looked up.

"Yeah, that's perfect for me! I like it!" I averted.

"I'm glad. You know I wanted to throw a little party, but Zach said you wanted it this way. You ready for your present?"

"I said I didn't want any presents," I murmured with salad in my mouth.

"But I know you'll like it! No you'll love it," she corrected herself. Actually I did get a present. I had asked Brian if he could teach me how to play guitar and he'd agreed. Suddenly she snapped for my plate.

"Hey, I haven't finished yet!" I complained and looked at her smiling face.

"Come on, pleeeease," she begged and pouted.

"Okay, okay!" I throw my hands in the air and followed her. She led me through the house. Had I ever mentioned that the house was creepy? I doubt I would get any sleep in here if I had to stay overnight with all the accesoires. Gena opened the door I had been in earlier.

"Oh, Napoleon, you should have kept the ribbon around your neck!" She turned her head and looked at me. "You know we'll sell the little ones, but we decided our little rude should be a gift for you.

"A dog? For me?" I asked and smiled from ear to ear. "But I'm on tour and I didn't have the time to keep an eye on him," I worried.

"He has to stay here for a while. He couldn't live without his mother at the moment. So he'll stay here at my place until you come back home for the next time. And if you couldn't take him I'll be there and as you know the guys handle it all the time. Nothing to worry about!" she cheered me up.

"So, this one is for me?" I asked while kneeing down and reaching for the dog with the red tie.

"Come here –" I looked at Gena questioning.

"His name is Napoleon." I raised an eyebrow and she just shrugged her shoulders. "You know Zee," she explained.

"That's so …" I couldn't find the words which could describe what I was thinking right now. I walked towards her with MY dog on my arms and hugged her lightly.

"You're welcome. But I think we need a nickname for him."

"Absolutely!" I agreed. After a few minutes I let Napoleon down, because his mother eyed me skeptical. "Come, I need to thank Mr. Creepy-Names too," I linked arms with her and we walked the way back. After thanking Zacky we all met in the living room.

"Fuck, there's Johnny's DNA on my white carpet!" Zacky suddenly yelled.

"It was your dog who had bitten me," Johnny said and holds his hand. "God, Icky is such a beast. Looks sweet and then he snaps after you. I'm not your fucking food," Johnny said into the dog's direction and disappeared into the kitchen. After patching up Johnny we sat down on the huge couch but we were too much people so I sat down on the ground between JB's legs. I really do like him. He and his brother are pretty cool but JB and I had this connection. Maybe because he's my technician and we spent more time together.

"Ladies and Gentleman … and other gnomes in the room… I proudly present the making of of the awesome song 'I'm not ready to die'," Zacky said and pressed the play button on the remoter. There were some 'Wooot's' before the black on the screen disappeared and Brian's face appeared. He began talking about how tense they were of my first recording and then you could hear a bang from the other room.

"One new drum stick for Kay," Matt laughed and appeared on the screen. "She's a tough girl but when she couldn't scream she throws her sticks through the air." He laughed and left the room again. The next thing I saw was me playing the drums, followed by Brian playing the guitar. Matt was interviewed and talked about how excited he was that this song will be on the soundtrack on one of his favorite games. The whole time the song was played in the background. Matt and Syn were playing the game, Zacky made funny faces while Johnny recorded his part. And then I could see me laying on the couch under some blankets.

"Shhh, Kay's sick and it's funny 'cause her voice is gone. I'll show you," Brian whispered in the camera. He walked towards me, placed his head next to mine and screamed in my ears. I jumped in the air and my mouth was hanging open as I screamed at Brian without words. As I noticed that he was laughing I punched him hard in the chest and laid down again.

"Beaten up by a girl," Johnny said while walking through the room and smiled into the camera. We had Matt who was singing … and sucked. Then it was time for Johnny. He hold up a coup of soup and said proudly he had cooked for the ill one.

By end of the recording my voice had come back a bit and I croaked about how exited everything was. We talked a bit and then the screen went black.

"Please, don't throw your sticks at me," Michelle begged theatrical.

"They're pretty hard," JB interposed.

"I said sorry for hitting you! It wasn't on purpose!" I turned my head and looked up. "Does it still hurt?" I asked and he nodded his head. "Let me fix this." He lowered his head and I kissed his sleeve. "Better?"

"Yep," he popped the p while nodding heavily.

"Anybody else who I had hit with my sticks?" The all shook their heads. "Good!" I laid back again.

"So, what do you think?" Zacky asked and wanted the girl's opinion.

"I think you're an asshole, Haner," Val said simply and I chuckled. This had be my first words when my voice had come back.

"And Johnny would be a sweet nurse. 'I had cooked'," Michelle imitated him. This time the guys laughed.

"You're just jealous," Johnny cracked a smile.

"The best coup soup I've ever had," I played along.

"Seriously, how do you two survive without the knowledge of cooking?" Gena asked.

Johnny said the magical words: "Chinese around the corner."

"Come on, what about the video?" Zacky whined.

"You did a great job … as always," Matt confirmed.

"Don't tell too much," Zacky pouted and we started telling him what we liked.


End file.
